Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!

Uncommon sense ~ How to suicide ~ Wrist slitting

My attempt at attempting:

I actually tried to try this one, when I was only in elementary school. It's not the bullying and sexual abuse that really got to me, but the fact that even the cops didn't want to believe me; that my mother pushed me away telling me "not to bother her with my problems" I was denied comfort and affection to build my self confidence. She told me "they must do it for a reason, so you must deserve it, try to please them harder". But that only rewarded and encouraged more abused, since I was forbidden to at least defend myself. So I felt utter despair, because there was nothing I could try... Well, I did punch a lot of people and in the end I punched my mother too! Best day of my life, ever! I'm so glad that I stayed alive for that!

When I tried to kill myself, I took a kitchen knife and sat in the dark... but there was something inside of me telling me not to do it, it felt as if someone else was controlling my body. It’s the first time I met my survival instinct. I thought he was pure evil with his aggressively, but all he ever did was protect me, and he was the only one who ever wanted to.

But to make my rational brain shut the hell up, I left the house in the middle of the night, hoping that the cold winter would numb my body and mind.

My rational mind told me that it would be nice to say farewell to a friend of my mother, since she was kind to me. I fell for it; she grabbed me and took me in the house.

I never tried again, but I thought about it everyday for years, trying to find how to win against that force inside myself... but I ended up making it my ally against the world and I'm happy now~ Because no matter what happens, no matter how lonely I could get, I know that he'll be there to protect me just as strongly... and I'll be okay~

How to do it properly, learning from my mistakes:

When I tried to cut my wrist, I would have done it "across the road". It wouldn't have worked. If I really persevered into the pain and horror I would have had to cut my tendons to reach the bigger and deeper veins; I would have lost mobility in my hand... That's why they say "down the street" so you can cut deeper. The superficial veins would clot before bleeding out.

It's "down the road" not "across the street" do something right for once

Going in the cold was also a bad idea. A lower temperature would have constricted my veins, reducing the blood flow. That's why it's best to do it in a warm bath, to dilate them so they will gush out faster than you'll clot. You can also relax in one without the dying, you don’t need anything complicated to unwind.

But cutting deep enough would be really hard and painful... it would quickly reach a higher horror than the one that you're trying to escape, so your survival instinct would kick in and stop you... Or you'd see yourself that it’s just making it worst and you'd end up with a scar and a few mental labels that would just make it even harder for you.

Carotids front viewTo make better sure to get it right, slitting the throat would be more effective. From one ear to the other like a big deep smile.

You'd really have to push hard. If you fail that would really give you a huge scar and scare people off...

I guess you can always say jokes like "Oh I worked at a slaughterhouse and they mistook me for a cow/pig".

You can always try the groin. It’d be best if you looked into an anatomical model for the major arteries, but I think it's where the leg meets the crotch... If you fail it would be more discreet. Unless you have sex but you can always say "Oh I like it rough." I'm not sure if you could reach them. Well, try to cut off your leg eventually you'll reach them.

Here's a big image of the Major arteries of systemic circulation from comcast.

I have a big scar line on top of my wrist and when people ask why I say "Oh, I tried to kill myself, but I cut on the wrong side." I love gore humor so much~~~ Everyone does, I'm just more honest. Why do you think death comes as the first idea in a pinch, certainly not because it's the best one.

Bloody bathHow would you feel to finally find a lover, put your best to build a relationship, and then come back home to a bloody scene of bathtub horror? Devastating.

It's going to be for your parents too, especially your mother who suffered to squeeze you out... and wipe your snot, throw ups, piss and shit... waking up by your strident shrieks, for years, everyday. And you think that you have it hard with cleaning up your own messes. So while she thinks that you're about to blossom into the word, you just slash it all in her face. If she's such a bitch, then scream or just punch her back.

But “Avoid. Ignore. Forget” can go a long way~

The opposite of love isn’t hate
; that’s still passion. It’s indifference. Work on that.

Well, if you're going to cut your wrist, do it right. Don't do that self harm nonsense. I understand, that's all the more reason to know it's pure absurdity from every possible angles. If you want to know wtf about that, read my Health~ Coping ~ Self harm.

Wrist slashed to the boneAnd it doesn't even work! Look how deep this cut is, you can see the fat. It's slashed to the bone! (The image is a link to the original site and much bigger size, it's even worst when you see more clearly.)

But the person failed anyway.

Ended up dying from stabbings in the chest!!!

The survival instinct is more powerful than will power itself. So when you have that much resolve...

You really could overcome anything else and live instead!

Cut wrist - wrong electric razor Many people post fake pictures of it online... thinking it's cool. But don't fool yourself. It's not going to be a glamorous death.

You're going to look foolish no matter what you do it with.

If you fail, people will see your shame every time you shake hands, and always.

If you succeed, you won't be able to live with anything at all, not even the good stuff.

Enjoy the simplest things, like the photo, have a laugh and let go~ Or go grab a butter knife and persevere~

But you might as well put those efforts into something constructive instead.


Next page: Gun shot

Lisa Of Shades
4 September 2013
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!