Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!

Uncommon sense ~ How to suicide ~ Verify the goal

Emergency exit, body's alarm will sound. Falls and shrieks. Edit: Lisa of ShadesI'm a misanthrope (hater of humanity) of course I'm going to make a suicide tutorial! It might be against common sense, but look at the name of this section~

It's your life; you do what you want with it.

You decide how precious your life is to you.

Just make sure that it's what you really want. "Be careful what you wish for~"

So first,
I have to make sure that your goal is death itself.

Otherwise, I'll give you really easy alternatives to achieve your objective. It's actually often something else.

There are methods far more effective and even easier than suicide. If only a few things bother you, then why don't you only give those up, and eventually find better, when you'll be ready. Rest until then. Give yourself a break!

Instead to throw everything away, yourself and life itself. It sounds a bit too extreme to get rid of bullshit, don't you think? But you choose. So choose wisely.

You should probably read the whole section to open your mind to so many possibilities. What's the worst that could happen, dying of boredom? Just look at the pretty pictures.

Here are the quick jumps for the topics below:

If it's from a nutritional deficiency, just nourish yourself properly.

Peacock made of vegetables and fruitsIt can be as simple as my healing soup recipe.

Any denied vital need will cause agony and distress!

Your body does his best with the resources available; the strange behaviors are ways to compensate or cope, to adapt to an abnormal situation TO SURVIVE.

There's nothing wrong with you, but there's something to improve in your own self care, and only you can do it.

Once you know about the powerful link between nutrition, biology and the mind; that everything is ONE; you see the cause and therefore clearly see the cure.

Feed on life; you'll be alive and very happy to be.

The first deficiency that I'd correct is vitamin C, because the adrenal glands burn a lot to make the adrenalin necessary to handle stress. You also need a lot of vitamin C to heal a worn out body. 2-4g is recommended as a basic dose for Adrenal fatigue.

Scurvy cause extreme physical and mental exhaustion and distress.

If you're a death's door, take 1g every hour for best absorption. I always take 4g but if I'm in pain or distressed, I take 5g split every 30 minutes. The maximum I took was 15g, but you can need 20g take more. Take extra until you feel awesome or your bowels can't tolerate it any more. You'll expel loose stools, so it won't even be absorbed, that makes vitamin C the safest vitamin to take mega doses of. Try to OD on it, it will give you back your life.

Chose a brand that doesn’t have sugar because it stops the absorption, and it's like taking the poison with the cure. The molecules are similar so you might crave sugar if you actually need vitamin C, because that's what it tastes like in nature. Avoid a maximum of allergens and damaging substances that imbalance you: wheat, soy and corn. Ban chemicals like preservatives, coloring and fake sugar; they cause brain damage and erratic behaviors.

A search for "suicide" in my page Vitamin and mineral shows that those deficiencies cause that much suffering:
  • B12
    It's needed to make the red blood cells that carry the oxygen. If your brain suffocates, you can't think clearly, the simple confusion can be called big fancy names like psychosis and schizophrenia, but it's just severe anemia (or low blood sugar, brain allergies and toxic chemical).

    The depression is natural when you're dying. It can be easily confused as wanting to die, no need to get it over with, just fulfill what you require: eating eggs and taking a B complex is a very easy way to end that agony.
  • Magnesium
    It's needed to make neurotransmitters, and can cause euphoria when you take high enough doses to be rewarded. You also need it to be able to relax muscles, and it makes them stronger too. Dark green vegetables and almonds are way tastier than drugs with no deadly side effects.
And those deficiencies cause depression which can lead to suicide too, more details in my the depression topic of my page Health ~ Nutrition ~ Classed by symptoms:
  • B vitamins complex (B1, B3 , B5, B6, B12, H (Biotin), Folic Acid)
  • C (Leads to scurvy: Prostration (extreme mental or emotional depression or dejection, extreme physical weakness or exhaustion.)
  • D
  • Minerals & electrolytes such as: Calcium, Magnesium, Potassium, Sodium doesn't mention it but the effects (seizures) are too painful to feel happy.
  • Trace elements: Zinc, Iron Manganese
  • Essential fatty acids: Omega-3, Omega-6
  • Protein
Endocrine illnesses with depression as symptom:
  • Hypoglycemia
    Also called glucose intolerance, sugar is the cause, not the cure. That's what makes you fat. Living fats are good for you: your brain is made of it and every cells; it will keep your blood sugar stable with slower release. Feed on greens and snack on natural raw almonds. It can cause rage (for nutritious foods but it can be turned against us), psychosis because the brain can't think accurately when starved, coma and death, from low blood sugar or suicide from the agony. You have a damn good reason to be depressed and unable to live, if your diet is based on junk, processed chemicals and grains.
  • Hypothyroidism
    Slows down your metabolism if you're too malnourished or exhausted to function, to prolong your life. Wise and necessary if you didn't respect your limit and needs for too long.
  • Adrenal fatigue
    Stress isn't even in your head. Those glands produce adrenalin to free fuel out of storage to face the increased demands; it also speeds up the heart to send it faster. They need vitamin C to function, so if you don't have enough, you can't handle stress. It can get bad enough to be unable to move or breathe.
Anxiety is actually simple hunger for usable stable fuel and specific nutrients. If you only have half the red blood cells needed to carry the oxygen, the heart will send them twice as fast to compensate; the same is true about blood sugar and the hydrating electrolytes. Especially if your adrenals are too malnourished and fatigued to help you hold on to salt, necessary to hold water for a high enough blood pressure, which means that you end up peeing your blood. No wonder you're tired, depressed and wishing your tortured life to end. Take enough vitamin C; it will be a great start. Drink Grey Celtic Sea Salt too, it’s chemical free and full of trace minerals for your nerves. Salt is even better in a vegetables & chicken soup, with ginger and curcuma. Cures and life can be super tasty~

Sadness and pain are the warnings that a need is amiss, not the problem.

If you want to calm down, fill the needs. Take calcium + D3 to absorb it, and magnesium, they're very soothing. Eat greens and almonds, not ice cream and chocolate, all the good stuff was processed out and replaced by toxins and over stimulating sugar. If you want energy take a B complex, it will help you turn proteins, carbs and fat into energy, even if you sit on your ass lazily, but you won't be able to with the energy that those vitamins will give you, so go easy on them if you need to rest.

It takes energy to sleep, even more than to be awake because that's when your body does maintenance. Don't wait until you get exhausted and berserk with adrenalin.

Don't entrust your life's responsibility in the hands of anyone else but YOU.

Ignorant doctors (who only know about chemical poisons) might mock you by saying that it's just in your head, instead to admit their incompetence and the limits of the medical profession; they might even blame your personality, who you are, as a disorder. Absurd, it's psychological violence. Criminal!

It's bullshit, dismiss it.

The father of medicine, Hippocrates, said "Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food". (460-370 B.C.) The scientific information about nutrition is known since more than 2013 years ago, and even more so decades ago.

But it's been completely ignored to protect the Twinkie industry; and especially to promote Pharma, so they could gain billions off your suffering, even if pills kill millions. But they find ways to cover it up and blame you for that too. Doctors claim that it's for your own good, but all they do is take you further away from your needs and speed up your death with more toxins. The ignorant assholes, glorified pushers!

Read the Folly of psychiatry, doctors don't know about nutrition and psychiatrists don't even know about biology! It's all about theories based on discriminating judgments, and trying to control what they don't even try to understand. You'll think about it twice before trusting the primitive ideas of those sadistic ignorant people, and will see that taking the responsibility for your own healing is way easier.

You have healthier choices and possibilities than junk and the sick care industry.

You're not lazy or crazy, you're starved!
Even more so if you're fat, as your body urgently tries to find and ingest nutrients among toxic cardboard, but it's useless and he can only store the poison in fat to protect you, as I explain in the Purpose of fat. Don't try to live on artificial products, the nutrition was processed out, and they're filled with chemicals to trick and addict you; they damage your brain in the process.

They're killing you! That's why you think about death.
It's a warning, not a wish!

You can't convert toxins into muscles, energy or any kind of healing. But the antioxidants of vitamin C and the watery fiber in greens will help you expel them. Vitamin C will give you the energy to handle stress and heal the PHYSICAL traumas that it causes too, to your adrenal glands and entire body.

Listen to your body, he will guide you. Explore possibilities so he'll know better too.

If the things that you think you like, and are told to be good for you, make you sick and wish you were dead, then maybe it's time to give a chance to what you think you dislike. I gave up what I wanted and embraced what I needed. I loved the results so much that now it's all I want, I am in harmony with my body. If I fight against myself I can only loose even if I win. I'm my own best ally, so I am never lonely.

Don't jump to conclusions. It's easy when you're confused with chemicals, like preservatives, coloring, hydrogenated oils and artificial sugars that cause brain damage.

You probably don't want to die, you might actually be dying. But it can be as easy as making your needs a priority, rest as needed, taking 2-4g of vitamin C and eating Recipes for happiness.

It's nutrition that counts, not calories. If all you needed was sugar and good will, the planet would be a big sugar cube.

Life is way more complex and delightfully colorful!

There's the freedom of a blue sky above the ads trying to brainwash, enslave and exploit you; and wonders growing under.

It's time to discover them, before you die.

There's more to life than what you were told. So much better.

Discover how to properly take care of yourself and you'll have a happier way to live.


Lisa Of Shades
Added 21 October 2013

Topics list ^

If it's actually to end a problem, yes, you can solve it instead.

Man holding a light bulb above his headIf what you want to get out of a bad situation and end your problems, you can solve them, you really don't have to die for it. The solution can be so simple; you just have to allow yourself to do it. You can tell people to fuck off, quit your job, school, even become a hobo, killing people would be better and you can always get the police to kill you... the possibilities are endless.

In The right question, about what's after death, concludes with "No matter what happens, one way or another, you always will be alive~" so it makes suicide futile if you just want to quit something or someone... just quit that thing or person. If it's you, live by different principles.

If you are well fed, well rested and avoid poisoning your brain with preservatives and other chemicals, the answer will come if you allow yourself some time.

You might have to choose between two evils, but it,s okay, there's a up side even in the worst thing, and a down side even in the best things. Make peace with both and pick the one you feel the most able to bear and enjoy~

You might have to choose between two evils, but it’s okay. There's an up side even in the worst thing, and a down side even in the best things. Make peace with both and pick the one you feel the most able to bear and enjoy~

You can find an idea, maybe not now, maybe not the best since we're not in an ideal world... but you will make your own, if you choose to look inside for guidance. It's better looking than you think~ If it's dusty just clean it up, with time, you will shine~

What I feared the most and wanted least, turned out to be what I was desperately looking for: Taking care of myself by any means necessary, even if it meant hurting someone else. I find steamed squash tastier than cakes... who knew!

You never know until you try it out~
You could be pleasantly surprised~

If you want to escape having too many responsibilities, then simplify your life and tell people not to bother you. "Fuck off" can be more effective than no.

Topics list ^

If it's to end the pain, you can help your body heal.

Knives are for killing carrotsThere are internal issues that can make you literally die slowly in agony. When that happens, it's hard to understand what the body is trying to tell us and "I'm dying, help me" can come to your mind as "I want to die". Since it’s your brain that's dying, the confusion is perfectly understandable.

The brain needs two main things to survive: fuel and oxygen.

When you get reactive hypoglycemia from not eating enough and often enough; or by eating empty things that puts your blood sugar on a roller coaster, the crash can be worst than starvation itself. Avoid sugars, grains like wheat and corn, and soy, it's all inedible even when natural, so when it's processed it's even more damaging.

Feed on nutritive greens and slow fuel fats like snacks of natural almonds.

You'll be amazed how much food has a huge impact on your body and the mind. Of course, the brain is a part of the body, so taking care of your body will make you feel so much better.

If your blood sugar fuel is stable, your emotions and whole being will be.

Oxygen is carried by red blood cells. If you don't have enough, you suffocate no matter how much you breathe. They are made with B12, found in eggs. And also iron but you need vitamin C from greens to be able to absorb it and that's usually the problem.

Take between 2000 and 4000 mg of vitamin C either way. It can help anything since the adrenal glands handle every types of stress. More if you need to. My record is 14000 mg. I accomplished a lot that day and was in pain, but then I felt bliss~

Both can cause psychosis because the brain can't fully function nor with precision, so anything can happen, mistakes are made... Both can kill you and are worst than death, so it’s natural to wish to put yourself out of your misery.

But it's extremely simple to make that torture stop, especially with supplements of compressed foods, which may be necessary to catch up to the long accumulated deficiencies.

You need magnesium to make neurotransmitters. When I take a bit too much, I get so flooded that I just can't stop laughing. I take an extra massive dose before bed and I fall asleep giggling at anything, including my own laugh.

You don't have to die if you just want to stop feeling miserable, it doesn't take much efforts to swallow nutriments, and unlike drugs, especially legal ones, there's no stigma nor side effects.

Unless euphoria is a side effect to you. But it's meant to feel damn good, so it just shows that its working. Learn more in the Health section, Nutrition ~ Vitamins & minerals. But Classed by symptoms ~ Depression lists all that your body might need.

Here are my vitamins & minerals that I take everyday. I was told that it was all in my head while I actually had 2 chronic diseases. Bastards. The vitamins and minerals worked like no other drug ever will. I swear on my very ability to walk and breathe that I got back thanks to them, while their stupid medicine almost killed me.

Life is way simpler than what you were told!

But while it can be from something you need, it can also be something poisoning you. Corn causes me brain allergies, people thought I was lazy to sleep 12h but I actually was in a coma. Managing to be awake anyway was excruciating.

Food "preservatives" are actually toxins, they kill small organism quickly and big ones slowly. They cause brain damage, that's a good reason to feel distress. It's not because someone say that it's safe or good for you that it's true for everyone... or anyone.

Make better memories. The brain is like muscles, the ones that you don't use atrophy, so try to think of something else. Enjoy simple things; that will strengthen those kinds of happy thoughts. Time is like "Water under the bridge" it can wash away the past. It will still be there, but if you feed your body well, it will be able to heal and move forward; when you'll be ready.

Topics list ^

If it’s a cry for attention, love and take care of yourself already!

Man hugging himselfGive attention to yourself, you'll be best served, because only you can know and genuinely care about your best interest. It's already hard enough for ourselves; you can't really expect people to have the energy, capacity or will to do it instead of yourself, for yourself.

You don't want the kind of psychiatric attention that you'd get from a suicide threat or attempt... trust me. If people didn't bother then, they wouldn't put their heart into it properly now... You wouldn't even get treated like a human being with free will anymore... just force feed you chemical straight jackets to dominate you. Sticking labels on you because all they can do is judge, not understand or give you love. You can only feel your own anyway.

My sister got a big hypoglycemia shock but she didn't know. It can cause psychosis when your brain is so starved that its about to die... They locked her up, tied her up, hurt her and abused her... Adrenal fatigue also causes dehydration, but they told her that she doesn't deserve to drink water... She didn't even have a toilet in her room when criminals do, and no one cared to take the time to at least give her that little dignity, so she ended up drinking her urine... She didn't have the simple food that she actually needed, so she could have died in there. It's cruel and criminal, but it makes them feel like specialists from the power trip, and everyone looks away because it's hard.

So you're on your own! But you're never alone, you will always have yourself~

I don't think that psychiatrists can help anyone... actually they're not there to help, but to contain, control and hide. So that others can pretend that everything is perfect and great, when they might actually be even more screwed up than you'll ever be. Human emotions aren't a defect of the brain, they really must be heartless and soulless to even think that. Stay away, nothing good can come out of them. If you want a pusher... try pot, at least it's natural...

You can't drug or even talk your way out of your needs; you can only do your best to fulfill them.

Only rely on yourself! If you put your life in the hands of others, they'll just exploit it to fill their own needs and desires at the peril of your owns... No matter what they will try to make you believe or even if they believe their own lies.

We can help each other out, as equals, but only if we can handle doing it for ourselves first. No one and nothing can make up for self neglect. Putting your weights on the shoulders and hearts of others, instead to free yourself from them truly, is mean against the person who'd care about you, and against yourself. You'll constantly seek someone to take a shit on instead of solutions, spreading bullshit instead of improving your world. Taking on more than you can handle, not respecting your limit, thinking you can make someone else pay and carry the burden... eventually it will crumble on you and you'll suffocate in a big pile of garbage. You stupidly threw it in the air, and now you can dig your way out!

It will take just as much time as it took you to accumulate it all, it's overwhelming, but you still can clean that up, find a better way and move on... one shovelful of shit at a time.

Really... protect yourself by any means necessary. Stay calm as much as possible, it will be easier to plot something effective. You can talk your way out of almost anything. For when actions are needed read on self defense at the hubbardtwppd cop site; my favorite is the Throat Strike. I did it to my mother, she never beat me again. You won't feel helpless anymore!

Adore yourself, you don't need to deserve it, just do it. Do your own best and you won't have to feel guilty of anything. It's natural to fall and bump into walls when you're learning, screwing up is the best way to learn.

"Desperation is the mother of invention". Open your mind to the possibilities.

It doesn't matter how the world is harsh, you can still go easy on yourself.

Take care of your own life.

Topics list ^

If it's that you "can't take it anymore" you can rest and learn to cope.

Man meditating with 2 middle fingers up - credit to MegaDon't underestimate the relaxing power of a simple deep breath; making your belly button lift, not your chest.

Change is scary, but you can still say "Fuck that shit" and move on.

If it's not possible at the moment, then you can try my coping section:

Vent anger for balance & inner peace

The people who want to exploit us want to make us believe that we have no choice or that it would make us bad people if we didn't. We do, I don't mind being evil if that will keep me alive, and I only owe something to myself: respect and care.

If I have some extra energy left for others, they better be damn grateful. But I do everything I do for my own entertainment anyway, so that would be their loss if they can't appreciate. I sure do~

(Added 21 October 2013)

Read about the Purpose of school and learning in general since life experiences are way better. It's there to help you discover the special skills that you can bring to the collective. No one is supposed to be perfect, especially not at everything, certainly not while discovering ourselves and learning.

Give yourself a break and more time, you have the rest of your life ahead of you, no matter how much you have left. Make priorities and choose your needs first. You'll have more time soon enough for the rest, but not if you drive yourself into exhaustion, sickness and suffer to the point of loosing the will to live...

Noting is more important or pleasurable than health.

Yes even sex, because you can't do anything, not even what you love, if you're too malnourished, tired and sick. It's depressing but the feeling isn't the problem.

Self care is primordial for life. Rest is a part of it. Avoid, ignore, forget.

(Added 19 December 2013)

Bullying: Use a pillow to vent and defend yourself

If you're bullied, know that it has very little to do with you. They just want to vent the frustrations of the pressures in their life, and feel better about their own feeling of inadequacy. They will use any easy looking target, because they believe they’re lame and they need to boost their self esteem with an easy win; anything that seems to stand out.

Minorities aren't targeted for being different, but because their army is smaller, it’s harder to find each other, so individuals are often isolated, and already insecure about their difference, which seems bigger than the bully’s own worry. Comparing ourselves to worst off to feel better is one thing, but needing to utterly crush someone is just plain pitiful. It’s not always because you’re more vulnerable (kicking a dead horse is no accomplishment) it can also be because you’re better and they feel intimidated, and it’s easier to take you down than to compete and improve, but that’s no accomplishment and make them worst people.

Use a pillow as a punching bag, not people, because not everyone is overly nice forever, even the sweetest can snap and hurt someone. When a person intimidate, threatens, torture and danger another until the fight or flight instinct gets triggered… some people will flee and kill themselves, and some other will fight and kill the threat to finally be safe. It's not madness it's the survival instinct. And if it's madness, well, I blame the one who pushed it in.

Because enough is enough. To put your limit a simple “STOP!” with conviction, or a punch in the throat if they hit you, can be clear enough for many people... but some are just too thick. If you're going to hurt someone, make sure the person deserve it and is not you.

Psychological stress damage the body’s adrenal glands just like any other thing that requires energy to handle, just like over exercise, too much stress of any kind damages your vital organs, even if your skin looks fine, it can kill you. So defend yourself. Only pedophiles and assholes like that deserve to be tortured and disposed of. Kids do not. They're supposed to be useless and stupid while they learn, so go easy on yourself.

Life is about choices, you can't be nice to everyone, so start with self respect and spread it around... instead to nurture self loathing and wait for others to respect and love you, do it yourself. Because they probably feel even more insecure and inadequate, wanting to run away even more in denial out of fear and weakness, not lack of love, even your parents. Others will rejoice at an easy compliant victim, like drug pushers or government endorsed drug pushers (psychiatry) which is the same. Kick the people who harm you in the nuts. That will be therapeutic. Don't go down without a laugh!

If people don’t play by nice rules with you, then screw the rules!!! Screw people! Screw everything! You don't need to die for that. Rest you can always fix it later and it will be easier when well rested, fed, and taking the time to think about all your options. If it's really death, well at least you'll be sure that it’s really the best and what you want.


If you want to die for the pure sake of dying, then go ahead, kill yourself.

Grim reaper skullBut the Grim Reaper is screaming at you: "Give me a break! I'm busy enough with dumb people falling to accidents or reaching their time to move on. You think you have it hard, just wait until you blow your face off or lose your legs on the tracks of a train, and I still don't bother to get you!!!"

Suicide, a permanent solution... to make your problems way worst.
(See failed suicide by gun shot)

Rejoice that you don't have cancer from all the chemicals that you believe tasty and making your life easier, but are actually making your life utterly miserable. If you do, you can even cure that by nurturing your body: cancer cures. If nutrients can make dying people feel better, it can help you.

But the actual reason why you'd probably survive is because your body will always do his utmost to protect you, even against your own will. Life is more powerful than despair and even death itself. I know; I overcame both.

I find it so saddening to murder your most loyal and trustable friend: your own body. Someone will always be there for you no matter what: yourself. Be grateful for what you do have, start respecting and loving your whole self, NOW!

Then instead to try to find ways to destroy your half dead body, you'll be more incline to find ways to nurture your being back to health. It's easier to rest than run towards the grim reaper, but you're free to do what you will. However, don't expect him or anyone to want you, if you don't even want to take care of yourself.

Give your life value, by simply choosing to value it.
Being alive, and still trying in spite of everything, are great reasons to praise yourself. No matter the results that you find as you explore possibilities; you'll discover what's suitable for you eventually.

I respect and love myself deeply; I now put my needs first, even above my own desires. It makes me a better person even for others because if I'm exhausted, starved, poisoned or dead, I can't help anyone. So my first duty is to myself.

If you are alive by the end of the day; your life is a success.

All you have to do for it is to take good care of yourself.

You can do everything you wish with your life; it's yours and yours alone. And yes, that includes ending it.

If your goal is really to die, I don't think you'll end up in hell, it happens when you live from your choices... so maybe you already are, but you don't need to die to end this hell, you merely have to make different choices.

There are infinite possibilities besides death, but if it's your decision; I respect that.

If you want to grow a new tree of life from scratch, or because you're going to die in utter agony, worst than anyone should ever live... Well, I'd still stay out of curiosity to see what's on the next branch anyway. The most meaningful and helpful time of my life was on my death bed, struggling to survive... I never felt more accomplished, proud, and so much self love~

But I strongly believe in free will. So if dying is truly is your intent, no one can stop you but yourself.

Your survival instinct is going to fight to protect you, even from yourself, every step of the way... if you win, you're going to loose... your very life. So maybe you'll end up worst off. Nothing is certain in life not even death. I'll teach you what can come out of your deadly desire; it's up to you to decide if you want to risk facing that.

It's not going to be poetic or romantic... even if you choke on roses.

You're going to release your bowels, shit and piss yourself, and a loved one is most likely going to find you~

You might traumatize someone who loves you, as you might think that no one does, and they could end up following you out of the despair that you'd spread.

I don't think you choose something so extreme just for your first bad break up... but if you want to give up life completely merely for a small natural part of it, then you might as well kill yourself because you probably have no idea how really atrocious it can get; and wouldn't last a second with a real problem, such as rape, the kidnapping or death of your child, 3rd degree burns all over your body, colon cancer and living shitting in a bag through the stomach... being physically blind and not just have your head up your ass...

Life is hard, that's also why it's so amazing. Get used to it!

If you don't want to be a part of life; and still wish to suicide after learning what it’s really going to be like... then kick the bucket. I can't blame you, maybe you'll succeed... if you try and try again... but you can use that courage on living instead. But I believe in free will... I just want you to know your options so you can be sure that death is really what you want. Some people say that suicide is selfish, as if you were supposed to live your whole life for others. It's stupid comments like that which makes people believe that the only choice that they can make for themselves is suicide.

So be selfish, disappoint people! Live you own life! Try it once before you die, because I want you to taste absolute freedom once while you live, you don't have to die for it, youjust have to decide to be free and act on that.

We should balance self care as much as caring for others, if not more, because once you're too in pain to live, you can't help people. If people only want to take from you, use you as their sunshine and suck out your soul without giving anything back... they'll kill you slowly, they don't deserve you. Demand what you desire at least once because otherwise how are people supposed to know.

After tasting living for yourself, taking care of yourself, deciding out of the blue that you deserve it simply because it's your own damn life... Be your best ally, your own protector, even if your parents are failure you can still be better to yourself, hold on the best you can until you can leave, and embrace the rest of your life. Taste self love, the deepest love of all… a love that no one can't take away from you unless you allow it, by believing people's bullshit...

If you still want to die and kick the bucket after that...

Instead of "Good morning~ Have a nice day!" I'll tell you:

Good mourning~ Have a nice death!

Emo goth kid kicking a bucket


Topics list ^

The reasons

I think people want to die not even because of the pain, but because no one cares, mock them, and won't let them do anything about it.

It's having to pretend that everything is okay that is so suffocating!

If negative feelings weren't taboo, they wouldn't build up.

It's the lack of freedom to feel sadness, and not the sadness itself, that makes you feel trapped and cornered enough to wish to die!

The lack of freedom to express who you really are!

Well, the hell with everything except yourself!

(Added 14 November 2013)

"The 6 reasons people attempt suicide" from psychologytoday explained better.

A doctor explains how he was trained to think about the reasons people kill themselves. It make sense but their knowledge is merely opinions, they are too limited and can cause more harm.

1. They're depressed

"Severe depression is always accompanied by a pervasive sense of suffering". No. It's the other way around. People suffer physically from exhaustion and it's depressing when you're physically unable to accomplish not only the impossible, but daily tasks for ruining your health trying too hard. Read into Adrenal Fatigue, it's not recognized until you have 2% left because their drugs shut down the glands even more, and it would be unethical to give it before thaqt. But you can't have much of a life at 50%.

2. They're psychotic

Psychosis is a consequence of hypoglycemia, which is a consequence of Adrenal Fatigue. They handle stress with a lot of vitamin C but also blood sugar. If your brain doesn't have enough fuel, or oxygen (anemia, a B complex is also needed to make energy) your brain won't be able to function accurately. Nightmares and bad memories, haunted by the echo of bullies or self loathing, it's the so called schizophrenia. Just being starved into not being able to function and slowly die, you eventually just want to get it over with. Hypoglycemia is particularly agonizing and the food rages can come out as just rage, and people can turn it against themselves. It's perfectly reasonable. But locking people up, feeding them white bread and Jello, drugging their already tortured brain... can only make it worst. Assholes. Of course self talk is the key. Sometimes I’m so exhausted that my brain can’t analyze where sounds come from, he calculate the subtle changes of speed that the sound reach both ears to pin point the direction. It’s a very subtle difference very complex to comprehend… without enough energy to have such complex thoughts, the sound can seem to come from everywhere, no where, inside and out all at once… It can be particularly confusing and terrifying, even when you understand biology. Add to the torment being half asleep about to faint in a hypoglycemic coma, half dreaming, your inner survival instinct bursting, unable to control your primitive impulses… It can be hard to handle… The best way is a little self talk: having an open mind, not jumping to conclusions and being patient until the brain come up with a better explanation for what he sees than insect everywhere when it’s just a crumb or dust bunny. But if you allow yourself to jump to the worst conclusion all the time, and are too stubborn to allow possibilities to replace your convictions, then you’re doomed no matter how officially sane you are. But if you take care of your body’s need above what you think you want, and open your mind, taking deep breath, then even if you are as crazy as can be, with both hypoglycemia and anemia like I do, it can be more bearable. Still freaky, but blinking a few times usually make things turn out better than what they first seemed.

3. They're impulsive

Under drugs and alcohol... yeah I agree with that one... I have a story in gun shot where 2 friends kinda dared each other to suicide, with limited awareness from booze; they went for it thinking it'd be cool. One died, the other survived completely disfigured after way too many horribly painful operations. If you're going to kill yourself, make sure you're aware enough to really want it and not screw up into worst pain... But people taking drugs and booze often do to ease and escape the pain... instead to fill the need or get rid of the problem… it just let the agony linger and make it worst. Antidepressants sure do. Booze aren't liquid courage, it only shut down the rational part of your brain that might stop you for a damn good reason.

4. They're crying out for help

If the people around you put their head up their asses in denial, forcing you to be perfect so they can live in a pink bubble of hypocritical lies... they can't even help themselves and are even more worthless than you'll ever be screwing up, they do it deliberately. Don't live up to their unrealistic expectations, they're soulless and empty and aren't worth dying for. Take care of yourself instead and find knowledge how. I had friends like that, they never gave a shit, I always had to follow, I had to be about to die so they'd open their eyes and see me. They encouraged me to be in a perpetual state of distress because it was the only way I'd be treated like I existed... and feeling like a ghost made me wish I was dead! When I noticed that they weren't the solution but actually the problem, I got rid of them and started to do the things that I want alone, and enjoy myself, ignoring them. I'm lonely, but not as much as I was with them. People who ask for help are treated like defective insects, those who try to commit suicide to be taken seriously either actually succeed after days of sheer agony (when those who actually want to die live, ironic...) or they live only to be locked up and labeled as having a "unbalanced brain" so the people treating you like shit have even more excuses to continue... Just shut up, enjoy yourself, if you don't have the energy, rest and be mean so people will leave you the hell alone for a change. It could be worst than being lonely, at least no one's there to make it even worst!!!

Like having a terminal illness, I agree, they should be allowed (and maybe even helped) to die. But I was dying, the most precious moment of my life was face to face with death, when I let go, and allowed new knowledge to come in... My life got better than I thought possible after. So I don't think we should kill ourselves every time life gets low. People with cancer and heart disease healed through nutrition. Even I can have good days... I'm in my 30 and people of 80 are able to have a more social and active life than I do... I have 50 more years of being bed ridden and all alone... If I can bear that, then what are a few months of pain... among your loved ones... *sigh* There can be goods that out weight the bad... if there’re for me... there is for everyone. That's how life is if you choose to look at it this way, it always offers both angles, both possibilities… Well, your choice is up to you. I’m just frustrated to see people way better of than me succeed to kill themselves… with a good lover and a good job… well, if I put on a mask and kissed people asses and pushed into the exhaustion and agony to manage getting all… I’d probably suffer more than I already do… But it’s so damn frustrating to not even be able to lie down and watch TV; I was so dizzy from hypoglycemia I had to sleep… I can’t even stand up for 8h without struggling not to pass out like hell… That’s not a life… I wish I was either alive or dead! But the sad part is… this is the happiest that I have ever been… When I lost everything, my family, friends, career, threw it all away... to survive... when I even lost my ability to live. No one make my life a living hell anymore. I don’t torture myself with exhausting over achievements anymore… Heck I praise myself every time I manage to stand up long enough to make myself food… So this deadly disease was the best thing that ever happened to me… I finally started to live for myself and cherish life, because I have no other choice.

6. They've made a mistake

"young people flirt with oxygen deprivation", I have anemia, it's not cool to lack oxygen, it hurts like hell actually. But concentrating on your breathing and body can make orgasms better... obviously don't restrict the flow of air completely, unless you have a severe death wish... A plastic bag is going too far, scarves still allow breathing but forces you to do the relaxing deep breathing. You don't need to smoke or suffocate yourself to enjoy this relaxation technique. But if you’re going to suicide by hanging, you might as well get it off as you go. But suicide isn't a poetic or romantic way to end suffering, dwelling in self pity either. It's gruesome, painful, and those you love will find you in a pool of your own piss and shit as dead muscles relaxes. Blue like a freaking smurf. It's not a dignified death. Now THAT'S reality. People should talk about it more often; we would become less insane clinging to lies and trying to reach them. Kids might refrain from thinking that fucked up stuff are nice, if we bothered explaining them the unpleasant stuff, instead to just show them off like trophies, after making them dance like puppets towards dreams that aren’t even their own, to boost the self esteem of adults such as their parents. Well, of course letting go and enjoying the good is crucial, but it’s not everything. There's a time for joy and a time for sadness… a time to die as well. It takes wisdom and courage to feel what has to be felt, and to understand the reasons and purpose of it all. It’s hard to do it about our own life, so don’t demand to be understood or else you kill yourself… We’re all clueless, even me in spite of my big IQ and having nothing else to do than think. If you want to explore the fine line between pleasure and pain, buy yourself a whip. If you want to feel cool accomplishing something, stop doing stupid shit and polish a skill: like playing the guitar or a violin, drawing, learning about biology or something… that’s way sexier, even when you’re not perfect. At least you don’t end up looking like a smurf in an excrement soup. Hahahahaha! I'm terrible. Compare yourself to worst for a change and you might feel better.

(The rest of the rants was put in My venting page)

Since I cannot die… I guess I’ll go take care of my body… Maybe you can try that... even criminals are entitled to one last good meal before their execution... Sometimes it’s all that it takes to perk myself up.

Topics list ^

Simple answers

Yes, there are things in life that are far worst than death, much much worst.

But you don't have to die to get rid of them. And dying might prove to be far more difficult than finding solutions for your problems, and even beyond all the pain, distress and despair that you endured so far.

Your answer can be as simple as mine:

Take as much vitamin C as you need to feel awesome. That will make you and your adrenal able to handle any stress. But you don't have to bear it, if someone tries to make you miserable, tell them to fuck off with uncaring disdain. You're entitled to your own life!

Learn more on Adrenal Fatigue in my health section.

Suicidal ideation is a symptom of the reactive hypoglycemia that it causes. Because you're actually dying, but you can end that suffering by saying no to junk instead of saying no to life... embrace living green foods! Make their life force become you.

And you'll be happy to be alive~

Take care of yourself, yourself. You'll only be at the mercy of your own stupidity, but as long as you do your personal best, you'll figure it out, you'll be okay~

Yes, it can be that simple. I swear to you on my own life!

Just restore the balance between feeding, doing and resting.

No matter what you choose...


Topics list ^

The dying part isn't so easy

Nothing should be done mindlessly on an impulse, so if you're still contemplating suicide, at least you're thinking. You have many options.

If you believe that death is an easy way to end all your problems, then maybe you should learn more about the dying part.


Topics list ^

Make the choice to live or die once and for all. Give it everything you have.

When I considered suicide as a possibility to escape my problems, I was living half way, spending a lot of time, energy and thought processes about death. Everyday.

But after I saw the picture in the Gun Shot page, I ended up seeing that suicide is not an easy way out, it can make everything so much worst. I grew tired of trying to move in two opposite directions. It's pointlessly harder to accomplish anything reluctantly and with hesitation.

I faced the decision ultimately: I told myself that it was enough, to no longer waste energy being ripped in two directions.

It was time to make the choice, right now, for the rest of my life. To choose to live, or to die.

And then to do everything in my power to make it happen, now and forever. I convinced myself with conviction that after my choice, I would no longer have it. By making this decision one last time with the absolute will for an entire life, I would loose the right to choose, I would no longer have the right to question my decision.

I thought about death more seriously than ever, as a definitive end not as a poetic relief, and I saw that it wasn't what I wanted; I only wished for the relief. I didn't have to die for that but only to get rid of the causes.

I chose to live, it was the easiest choice because I was anyway, and I didn’t have to do anything for this fact to continue, at least for a while. So I rested letting go.

BUT because I finally turned my back on death, I could finally use my whole time, energy and thought processes to live, to take care of myself instead of others or things, and improve.

I found out that I didn’t wish to die, I was actually dying. The confusion is easy to make in such condition. But I didn't have to get it over with, I could heal!

After 10 years of research, trials and errors, I found that the normal way to live was destroying me, and us all. Information about Hypoglycemia then Adrenal Fatigue helped me find the root cause, while doctors and psychiatrists never could. I needed someone who went through the same who could tell me how to handle it and heal, but all the so called experts ever gave me is judgments, shame and despair.

Well, I am here for you now! I understand, I am healing, I found a path paved with successes.

You can't heal away traumatic memories; you can only accept the past and dilute the bad with better new memories, by enjoying the present. If you learn from it you can avoid seeing the pattern repeat itself. If you welcome change within yourself, it will spread out. Sometimes to improve you need to be a less good person, for others, so you can be a better one to yourself. It's not a sin, it's self care. Mind blowing isn't it~ It's also better for others: once you truly have love and joy for yourself, you can share it genuinely, without hidden agendas to feel appreciated, because you feel it on your own at life itself. It's an amazing way to see, feel and live; even if hardship continues to rain, you'll have a constructive approach that will have a different impact on you and the results.

BUT you can heal the PHYSICAL damage that the stress did to your entire body, especially to the adrenal glands. That's where stress is handled, not in your head, but a tired and malnourished body affects your mind. Moving on will be easier with a healed body than with broken legs or damaged vital internal organs. Give yourself time, rest and usable organic green foods to heal your organs, not chemicals or dry dead grains.

Because stress raise demands of nutrients, you can provide the needs or catch up to the accumulated deficiencies with mega doses of Vitamins & minerals. The information about nutrition and its impacts finally revealed the real cure. My whole body and therefore mind got better than I ever thought possible.

Abandon all hopes, make it happen.

It can be as simple as rest and Recipes for happiness.

I understood the link between nutrition, physical health and mental well being.

Hell is for the living and I crawled my way out of death itself. With simple rest, getting rid of physical and mental poisons, vitamins and minerals, especially 2-4g of vitamin C, divided in 1g doses. More as needed. It's so simple... to simplify your life.

The only duty that I have is to protect my own life with whatever it takes. It's the one law.

Life is simply about living. If you are alive at the end of the day, your life is a success.

You don't have to deserve love or be perfect; you already do by being alive. There will always be someone who'll love and hate you, no matter what you are and do, for both your qualities and flaws. You might as well love yourself, even if just for the fact that you'll always be there for yourself, no matter what, you'll never be alone.

Your life is as valuable as you choose to give it value. Fight for it and love yourself. You need no one's permission but you own.

I couldn’t be prouder and happier than if I was rich, because I have the most valuable thing ever: my own life.

Get properly informed, with this tutorial for example. Once you are well rested and properly nourished to make a wise decision, choose. The conviction will let you know what to do in a crisis, when the panic limits the thought processes and the urgency makes you impulsive. It will comfort you to remember a safer time that can come again soon, especially once you learn how to take care instinctively.

The choice is up to you; make sure it's a well informed one.

Lisa Of Shades
Added 21 October 2013

Topics list ^


From lostallhope:

Their page statistics states that the success rate is 1/25.

"In young people (aged 15 - 24), the odds are between 100 and 200 to 1 against. The elderly seem a lot more successful at 4:1." (So the further you're actually from your natural death, the more unlikely you'll die. It's like trying to extinguish your life force, them more you have the harder it will be, but also the easier you can get through hardship and improve your life...)

"Women are 3 times more likely to make an unsuccessful attempt than men, yet will attempt suicide 2-3 times more often. However, this does depend on their age, as younger women make many more attempts than men, whereas women older than 50 make slightly less attempts than men."

"According to the 2008 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, in the US there were 8.3m adults who had serious thoughts of committing suicide, and 2.3m who had actually made plans to commit to suicide. Of those, 1.1m actually attempted suicide, but only just over 33,000 succeeded. Which would make the ratio of failure to success 33 to 1."

I don't know if life is against you, but death apparently is. Well, then it would mean that life loves you, even if people are assholes.

"Worldwide, suicide rates have increased by 60% over the last 50 years, and the increase has been particularly marked in developing countries." With all the artificial poisons used to color and add fake flavors, and frying our food deader than death an unusable, rich countries are actually more malnourished than starving countries; at least they don't get poisoned by cancer causing junk. Nothing is often better. Small villages build more bonds to help each other in hardship than being lost in a huge society mocking the less fortunate as defective and abandoned at best, abused and exploited at worst. We’re rich yet we let people starve homeless into the harshest winters. I’d rather be poor and loved… but when you’re poor and unloved, neglected and ignored by parents who are working their minds out to pay for all the useless gadgets… things gets depressing.

Most lethal methods of suicide

"Study from 19951, where 291 lay persons and 10 forensic pathologists rated the lethality, time, and agony for 28 methods of suicide for 4,117 cases of completed suicide in Los Angeles County in the period 1988-1991."

Rank Method Name Lethality (%) Time (min) Agony
1 Shotgun to head 99.0% 1.7 5.5
2 Cyanide 97.0% 1.8 51.5
3 Gunshot of head 97.0% 2.5 13
4 Shotgun to chest 96.4% 1.4 16
5 Explosives 96.4% 1.6 3.75
6 Hit by train 96.2% 17.92 7.08
7 Jump from height 93.4% 4.56 17.78
8 Gunshot of chest 89.5% 7 21.7
9 Hanging 89.5% 7 25.5
10 Auto crash 78.5% 20.5 30
11 Household toxins 77.5% 24 54.5
12 Set fire to self 76.5% 57 95
13 Structure fire 73.0% 52.5 91.5
14 Carbon Monoxide 71.0% 21.5 18
15 Hit by truck/auto 70.0% 19 63
16 Electrocution 65.5% 2.4 72
17 Gunshot of abdomen 65.0% 69 74
18 Drowning ocean/lake 63.0% 18.5 79
19 Stab of chest 58.5% 96 76
20 Cut throat 51.5% 15.5 86
21 Overdose illegal drugs 49.4% 116.25 5.25
22 Plastic bag over head 23.0% 7 23
23 Drowning bathtub 21.5% 18.5 79
24 Drowning swimming pool 21.5% 18.5 79
25 Stab of abdomen 12.5% 252 78
26 Overdose prescription drugs 12.3% 129 8.5
27 Overdose non-prescription drugs 6.0% 456 22.5
28 Cut wrists/arms/legs 6.0% 105 71

The most lethal being a shitgun (oups typo, I meant shotgun, hahaha! Mistakes can be fun~) to the head. Not gun, a shotgun explodes more stuff.

The most worthless way to suicide is cutting wrists. That kinda surprised me.

The longest is "Overdose non-prescription drugs" with 456 minutes (but people agonized on Tylenols for days before their shut livers gave out. Not a good way to get attention, and if people don't take your pain seriously, then it's best to self care because those shit heads, who put their head deep into their hole in voluntary ignorance, are even more useless than you'll ever be and certainly not worth dying for.)

The most painful is being set in fire, and this is why I hate Christianity. Satan never burns anyone. Those "good" people did. Hell is for the living and they inflicted a lot! I often read that the salvation to despair is to turn yourself to drugs or god... If that shit is the only thing worth living for, I understand why people choose suicide. Self care and telling the world to go fuck itself is a very evil way, but it's working for me so much better. My life is mine to screw up as I please, I'm not going to be any pusher's cattle, certainly not big Pharma's slave, or the mindless servant of a guru who's even more clueless, insecure and messed up than me!

(The rest of the rants was put in My venting page)

Yes indeed, there is far worst than death... but unfortunately, dying is.

Feel free to try suicide though, your life belongs to you and you can screw it up as much as you'd like. May you have fun in whatever you choose to try, even if you succeed miserably, or fail in glory. Yeah life is weird.


Lisa Of Shades
Added 14 November 2013

Next: Waiting for death

Topics list ^

Notes about copyrights:

The people who made the images I used in the whole suicide section probably don't endorse my views! They are not to blame or hate. Many images weren't even related to suicide at all.

The emo/goth kid was edited by me with:
  • Soccer kid from hncgl
    (Please forgive me for disfiguring your art! It's greater than what I could have done... Cheering people up is a good cause.)
  • Bucket from mspmentor.
    (About "why me", I picked you because I like your color. Don't worry about it, people are dumb like that.)
Any resemblance with actual people (living, dead, cutting or suiciding) is purely coincidental but totally on purpose. Would you sue a mirror for being derogatory? If you don't like the cutting marks in my picture then stop cutting! But not all emo/goth do. I just wanted to illustrate the absurdity, to cope with the pain and sadness... that I actually feel for you.

Just develop morbid sarcastic humor like me. You'll be way less angry and wayyy happier~ It really helps me control my urge to kill the hell out of so many stupid people!

You can still enjoy dark fashion even with a smile on your face. Having the guts to laugh in Death's face is way cooler than cutting and dying!

Chucky and Freddy are so much fun!

Please don't sue me for the copyrights if applicable... I actually don't know. But I'd rather die than get money from ads in my beloved site. I'm not getting rich off your great stuff and you get free publicity! Please have mercy~

I'm trying to save lives here or something; with reversed psychology, laughter and sheer terror. Or at least offer an educated choice. Knowledge is power!


Next: Waiting for death

Lisa Of Shades
4 September 2013
Edited 21 October 2013
Edited 19 December 2013
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!