Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!

Uncommon sense ~ How to suicide ~ Gun shot

This is a big classic; people think that it will be quick and painless. But it's the one that goes the most wrong when it fails. Probably the worst even if it works.

The first photo is a "successful shotgun blast to the face, but an unsuccessful attempt at suicide"... yes... the guy is still alive, conscious... and in agonizing pain. In a hospital so they won't let him do the "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

After seeing that picture, I no longer saw death as an easy way out. It's incredible how easier it is to go on in life when you're no longer looking backwards or at death. I made the decision to live and now I just don't waste energy and mind power to think about it, I found super easy solutions instead!

Take a long hard look; do you think that living like that will be an improvement? (No one is so ugly that not having a face would be better...) Appreciate the fact that you can chew your food and are able to tell people to shut the hell up and go away.

He is still alive, bearing the pain! This could be you.

Why would you want to suffer even more pain, endure the one you have now!

Failed gun suicide - missing half his face

(I finally made a demotivational poster out of it: Ktulu make over)

After such a shock the survival instinct can finally wake up and take over, so you end up fighting for your life like you never thought you'd ever want or could!

AJ failed gun suicide AJ: "I didn't want to hurt anymore—I didn't want to deal with life".

Well, then he had to deal with 18 major surgeries in which doctors have taken bone from elsewhere in his body and, he says, "put my face back together."

I don't know why he was in pain, but it couldn't possibly compare to just one of these 18 butcheries, plus the one he did to himself...

Do you think it'd be easier to go in life with a face like that? To be loved, appreciated, get a good job...

But AJ was lucky... his face is functional, it's not the case for Vance:

Failed gun suicide - face not functionalHe was hanging out with a friend, using drugs, listening to music and becoming extremely aggravated. They thought that doing a suicide pact would be a good idea.

This is why drugs are bad, not because they're drugs, but because they handicap your ability to think; to find good solutions that will make it better for you... instead to mindlessly jump in unthinkable torment thinking it's cool.

You're already stupid enough by just being human; give yourself a fighting chance by keeping your mind clear. People won't be able to abuse you as much if you keep your wits alert. Don't trust the people promising an easy way out, they just want to enslave you to get your money! Legal pushers too!

His friends died almost instantly, which means in a long agony, but he did not... the dying part, his torture lasted longer.

He was very fortunate that it did not destroy his eyes, but it caused problems to visual alignment.

It took numerous operations to restore Vance’s ability to eat through what's left of his mouth, and to breathe mostly normally... which means that the mere fact of breathing is now a struggle.

He remained severely disfigured, his face a mass of scar tissue with only a gaping hole for a mouth and no recognizable nose. He has prosthetics; it's worst than you think.

Vance’s speech was also affected, and he wore a towel around his neck to wipe up the perpetual drooling saliva from his gaping hole of a mouth.

This guy too, he's drooling. Do you think that people will want to give him hugs and kisses now? Well, someone probably would! He probably has other qualities than being terrifying to look at... Go see the original size, it's even more horrifying. The link is the image. And the other person is obviously in a worst pain than he was before!

Failed shotgun suicide drooling Man's face cut in half from a gunshot

Your problems can't be that bad... that's no way to improve your situation.

What scares the most hell out of me is that they both turned to Jesus after that. Christianity is an empire that burned women just for dancing with flowers instead to add to the worship of their ego, they terrified people with hellish treats to make them obey and even raped children...

I like horror movies, even if I now try to limit them, to spare stress on my tired adrenal glands and heal... But the maniacs that scares me the most are religious fanatics thinking they're doing it for your own good! It's way more fucked up and terrifying than the most sadistic psychopath. More people were killed in the name of Jesus than for Satan!!! His teachings are only about freedom, being true to your needs and enjoy yourself. To allow your primal instinct to be, with his drive for life, and that’s what sex is actually about: new life. The goat was a symbol of fertility for pagans. The people thinking that Satanism is about hurting just for the sake or pain are missing his point. He just won't ask you to get slapped twice. Just grab that hand and twist it, the jerk won’t try to hurt you again! It’s if you allow to be treated like that, without even trying anything simple to stop it, that you’ll be living in hell!

I wouldn't want to loose part of my brain and end up the devoted slave of a bunch of hypocrites, like the Christians... encouraging their madness, so they can spread more abuses and harsh judgments, more pain into the world, to glorify themselves as gods. It’s pure evil in sheep clothing. They’re going to need to ask god for forgiveness a lot! But that won’t change the shit they spread into the world, crushing anyone remotely different… They don’t have power over your life anymore. You do! Rejoice~

Use your great power over your own life wisely.

But hey, whatever gives your life purpose and meaning. But why don't you choose it for yourself... You're always the one who decide your own worth and choose your own path, no matter the incentive that people try to push on you, or the permission that you might seek, all you need to do is to allow yourself to love yourself.

Life is about living. Yup, the answer was this simple. Just enjoy and live.

This guy had the kindness to do it in a bath to limit the mess, but I sure wouldn't want to clean that up. Try the forest. That might feed some squirrels.

Gun in bath - Bloody mess all over - Eye about to fall

But you're free to try and make it worst, at least you're trying right. But maybe that doesn't apply to suicide... Oh well, mistakes are the best teachers, especially the worst ones. You better learn quickly when those explode in your face... But you might want to avoid that if you're lucky enough to be spared that much pain. Now THAT's agony.

Appreciate and enjoy~ Or blow your brains out and see how that gamble turns out for you. If people can survive THAT, we can really go through and handle anything, when we choose to live.

(I'm shaking... and I thought doing the STDs page Health risks was traumatizing... I'll go eat some vegetables, with a few grams of vitamin C, and I'll be great in a few minutes... Try that. You can always reach for the gun after if I'm a quack.)


Lisa Of Shades
4 September 2013

The primal brain will prevail for survival, unless you shoot him...

Life is so powerful that a headless chicken survived 18 months, because he had some primal brain left, the part at the back of the head.

Shooting under the chin upwards is the worst way to do it because it won't touch the brain that is responsible for survival. You can live without your emotional and primal brain, if you have Hypoglycemia and lack enough fuel, running on the primal alone can prevent falling in a coma, by sacrificing less vital parts.

But it's wise to consider information from all parts when making a decision that you won't regret. Consider all aspects and angles. Doing things impulsively out of emotions, without asking your reason if there's a better way, or giving your survival instinct the chance to protect you with what needs to be done, might worsen things. Make sure to make peace with your whole self before making life changing decisions.

If you want to die for sure, try shooting the back of the head, because your survival instinct will never want to die, will always want to protect you no matter what, so you'll have to kill him first... It would be hard to get it from behind without being flexible or some strange contraptions (or someone's help but that could get them in big troubles, no one is worth losing freedom over.)

You could succeed by putting the gun in your mouth, but make sure to get the right angle. You'll probably miss the brain completely. The guy in the movie Fight Club did it sideway and it came out of his cheek after screwing up his jaw. Worst case scenario, you'll damage your spine and end up quadriplegic.

It would probably be safer to use a guillotine, but if the blade isn't sharp enough, of fall from high and fast enough, you might end up paralyzed as well... or you'll get lucky in bad luck (it happens more often than you think) and it will do the job by breaking your neck. But even if you cut your whole head off, you could still survive, like Mike the headless chicken did for 18 months. Life can be amazing, or gross, it depends how you look at it.

I feel so sad at the idea of shooting your survival instinct, the only sentient being that will always protect you, no matter what, even against your own stupidity. But if you can't even be grateful of yourself, you might as well die... Or you could start trying to appreciate the small things. Your survival instinct doesn't care how good or bad you are, as long as it helps you survive. You'll all that he can ever have, because he's a part of you, but he still has his own opinions, feelings and will. Discover that huge unconditional love and devotion, just for you, that you already have within.

Or shoot it right.


Lisa Of Shades
4 September 2013

According to the Most lethal methods of suicide a Shotgun to head is the most lethal option but still not 100% safe and you agonize for more than one minute.

If you do, make sure to blow up the survival instinct, in the primal brain, in the lower back of your head.

Because if you only destroy the right emotional brain, you can still live, guys do it every day; and if you only destroy the rational left brain you can still live; girls do it every day.

This is a joke of stereotypes, everyone use both, but they're like hands, sometimes you're more at ease with one over the other. Either way you need to practice and screwing up is part of the process.

You don’t need to die to get rid of threatening people, you don’t even need to kill them, just ignore the hell out of them; that will actually hurt them way more. We’re overpopulated; you’ll find someone else to cling on with insecurities in the name of “love”. How about yourself! Love yourself already!!! It has to start somewhere! And your parents were probably too busy being even more fucked up than you are.

Use that suicidal energy to find a solution. You don't have to run away from life to walk away from a situation that you don't want. Just walk away. Unless you tried to kill yourself with a train and lost your legs, then you can just roll your wheelchair away~~~

You don’t need to die to get rid of threatening people, you don’t even need to kill them, just ignore the hell out of them; that will actually hurt them way more.

Or just sit back, let go, and do nothing else than enjoy the ride~

Eventually you'll be rested enough to be able to take over the world again, if you feed yourself enough vitamin C from greens to heal. If you'd rather die than eat broccoli, than make sure to shoot yourself properly. Do something right for once.

Either way, enjoy~ Become a cynical masochist and laugh in the face of adversity!

Or laugh shooting yourself, thinking about how disturbed to tears and puke people will feel when they'll find you. Many sure will find a way to laugh at your misery, so make sure you at least laugh before you die. Don't do it drunk, it will just make you aim wrong... That's not liquid courage it's liquid stupidity.

Maybe you can get back at whomever or whatever made you wish you were dead before you go.

Anyway, have a blast!

Next: Hanging
Lisa Of Shades
19 February 2014
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!