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Humor ~ Random ideas ~ Cards Against Humanity

Cards Against Humanity - Box shaped like a stick, you can hit people with it.My custom card ideas for the game:
Cards Against Humanity (official site).

"Unlike most of the party games you've played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends."

"The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a Black Card, and everyone else answers with their funniest White Card."

I adore that game!!! Finally we can throw the hypocrite political correctness out the window and laugh to tears! Ah~ FREEDOM!

I lovingly call it the Black Box of Doom~

Some random sites:

Black cards:
  • You know you're a failure when BLANK
  • You know you're going in hell when you do BLANK
  • The highlight of your day was BLANK
  • You will die by BLANK
  • I enjoy being spanked by BLANK
  • Orgy of BLANK
  • BLANK on BLANK action
  • This morning I ate BLANK
  • The best way to loose your virginity is with BLANK at BLANK (at could
  • be replace by: with or while)
  • I got kicked out of school for doing an expose about BLANK
  • Drowning your sorrows in BLANK
  • What arouse me the most is BLANK spanking a BLANK
  • Nothing is more hilarious than watching BLANK (add "die" maybe)
  • Nothing is more disappointing than BLANK
  • I want to be killed by BLANK (or while doing)
White cards:
  • Throwing up with your nose (since it creeped you out so much)
  • Trying to kill yourself with a bazooka and still failing
  • A fork in the eye
  • Cat nip in an empty eye socket, trapped in a cat hoarder's house (maybe as two)
  • Tripping face first while holding a chainsaw (I have the phobia)
  • Killing a pedophile, by suffocation... with big boobs!
  • Tentacle monster sex
  • Having your eyes boiled in oil then put back in your sockets
  • Throwing up needles (as if swallowing them wasn't bad enough)
  • Killing babies with a flame thrower (I hope you still want to befriend me XD)
  • An infected testicle making you cum puss
  • An infected dick piercing
  • Untrimmed pubes
  • Dicks with eyes at the end
  • Running on the ceiling while being on fire
  • Flying sharks with lasers
  • Botched eye surgery
  • Injecting cement in your ass (true story)
  • Sneezing worms
  • Man eating flowers
  • Walking brains with insect legs and claws
  • Pudding... now with more rat eyeballs.
  • Piano falling on your car
  • Plane falling on your house
  • Mother in law falling on thin ice and breaking her neck
  • A cute little girl holding a chainsaw (and giggling maniacally)
  • Waking up buried alive
  • Twisting needles under the nails (The worst torture I've ever seen...
  • in a live action asian movie O_O Asians are hard core.)
  • Hard core Asian
  • Being kidnapped by aliens and not being probed (disappointing XD)
  • Using cum cream in your coffee
  • Spitting in your boss's coffee (or diarrhea)
  • Farts that leaks (or bloody farts... or both)
  • Making holes in your skull with a power drill. (To relieve the stress and pressure in your mind. Kids don't try it at home and don't trust psychiatry.)
Funny random from the site cahquotes.appspot:
  • Major League Baseball has banned God for giving players an unfair advantage
  • The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to Santa Claus
  • He who controls A time-travel paradox, controls the world (Doctor Who! Yay~)
  • What will always get you laid? A moment of silence
  • Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bitches
  • What are my parents hiding from me? Edible underpants
  • I can always masturbate to Hope
  • Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bestiality
  • Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children Porn stars
  • What's my anti-drug? My inner demons (It sure is mine)
  • During sex, I like to think about Farting and walking away
  • In 1,000 years, when paper money is but a distant memory, Suicidal thoughts will be our currency
  • What's that sound? Masturbation
  • What did I bring back from Mexico? Suicidal thoughts
  • What's my secret power? Agriculture (Hell yeah! Health!)
  • Keanu Reeves. That's how I want to die
  • Smallpox blankets. Betcha can't have just one!
  • I drink to forget Nocturnal emissions
  • Faith healing. It's a trap!
  • What never fails to liven up the party? Two midgets shitting into a bucket
  • In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for Insatiable bloodlust
  • Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of The boners of the elderly (NOOOOO!)
  • Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's A death ray (I have one~ In my pants~)
  • What don't you want to find in your Chinese food? Pedophiles
  • What's the next Happy Meal toy? Picking up girls at the abortion clinic
  • After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought Flesh-eating bacteria to the people of Haiti
  • I got 99 problems but A defective condom ain't one
  • Coming to Broadway this season, Golden showers: The Musical
  • I can always masturbate to New Age music
  • Why am I sticky? Teaching a robot to love (aww~)
  • White people like Men
  • What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? Unfathomable stupidity
  • I got 99 problems but Crystal meth ain't one
  • What ended my last relationship? Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook
  • What's the gift that keeps on giving? Pretending to care
  • What do old people smell like? Another goddamn vampire movie
  • Shapeshifters. Betcha can't have just one!
  • What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Catapults
  • When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of Child abuse
  • What will always get you laid? Count Chocula
  • What's the next Happy Meal toy? Incest
  • I drink to forget MechaHitler (neat!)
  • I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with The Make-A-Wish Foundation
  • What's the next Happy Meal toy? Keanu Reeves (I'd go eat that, or maybe that's why he got so fat XD)
  • How am I maintaining my relationship status? Letting yourself go (Hm~ deep!)
  • And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for Obesity
  • Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of Self-loathing
  • What's that smell? College
  • Tripping balls: Kid-tested, mother-approved
  • He who controls A murder most foul, controls the world
  • Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with Scalping and would like your advice
  • What don't you want to find in your Chinese food? My collection of high-tech sex toys
  • War! What is it good for? A can of whoop-ass
  • What's a girl's best friend? Abstinence
  • What's there a ton of in heaven? A big black dick
  • The hiccups? There's an app for that
  • Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships Asians who aren't good at math (I'm probably a member XD)
  • What are my parents hiding from me? A cooler full of organs
Lisa Of Shades
19 february 2014

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