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Humor ~ Comics ~ Emotional vampires

Comic codependent emotional vampires ~ suck blood and life out ~ abuse


Codependency isn't a sustainable relationship, not even between two codependents.


Girl: "Now that!?"
Boy: "How should I know?"
Girl: "I felt this coming but did nothing. Now it's too late for both of us."

At best you'll suffer from neglect and abuse together, but that's still the worst. One always sucks harder and the other, even without being a narcissist, causing frustrations and resentment. Both are doomed because when one can't take it anymore, the other looses too.


Girl: "Can we try what the other likes?"
Boy: "Gladly! Let's have fun!"

Take care of your own life, then bring your strengths, hobbies and discoveries in the relationship. You will enrich each other's lives together. You can only share what you already have. It's unfair and abusive to take more than you give. It's exhausting to give more than you can. No one can endure that happily ever after.


Girl: "Ouch! Find your own and share it with me too!"
Boy: "NO! It's easier this way!"
Girl: "You'll kill me!"
Boy: "I don't care!"

If you are the only one trying, stop wasting your time. They won't reciprocate what they refuse to even do for themselves, don't let them suck the life out of you. If you express your needs & limits and you're not respected by at least a caring effort of good will, then you are being hurt deliberately. Get rid of them without mercy, they have none for you.


Girl: "You wish for pain & death. You can have it alone."
Boy: "How can you be so mean?"
Girl: "I learned from you."

Emotional vampires. Your life is yours to live. Don't try to live someone else's for them. It's pointless. If they refuse to try for themselves, then they're already dead.


I made this comic about a relationship I had. I learn from it about myself and life. I'd rather stay alone than be in a toxic relationship if I'm unable to find balance, by forgetting my needs or being disrespected when I put my limits.

See: Relationship gone bad. Many demotivational posters about it.

See: Shad Wolf for more about my relationship with another comic.

The problem with codependency is that you focus, enable and worsen each other's weaknesses instead of combining strengths. The more you indulge in insecurities, the more you feel helpless and become dependent, or worsen someone so they'll be stuck with you instead to actually help them overcome their hardship. It's like buying drug to an addict, that's not kind... you encourage the problem, you're not the solution.

Sometimes the best thing to do for someone is to let them suffer so they are forced to look inward and find their own strength, and the courage to overcome their hardship to both reach a better life and become better people... the best of what they can be... instead to dwell in the worst.

Giving more than we can because we are afraid to say no can only make someone resentful, exhausted, sick, and even kill them slowly. No one can replace self care. No one can breathe and sleep for you, you have to make the effort to swallow your food or the shit that happens to you yourself. Trying to protect someone from hardship is denying them opportunities to better themselves. I thought that making my friend taste kindness would empower him to find the self confidence to reach for his desires, but he refused to try, instead he saw this as a opportunity to be the one to abuse another instead of being the victim... No efforts but pressuring by force and intimidation and manipulations to get all the rewards anyway. He deserves to suffer.

I encouraged it by rewarding it... and I did because I believe that he wanted to share when he asked... Why wouldn't be? But he only asked, he refused so much to make an effort that he sabotaged the ones I made trying to do it all for him... Relationships don't work unless both share and both make the efforts to build it.

When I said that it was hurting me more intensely than my usual kind begging (I even cried but he thought I was happy!) he said that he didn't care that he broke my trust... That all I have to do is continue to give him what he wants and he'll get that back too... He didn't care that he made me suffer until I broke because he thought that he could get what he wanted anyway...

He didn't want to make an effort to reciprocate, but he whined and even threatened suicide when I adjusted my expectations and offerings to what he actually gave... He deserves the pain that he gave me. He can kill himself if he wants to. He's dead to me.

He tormented me with grandiose ideals and wishes, he gave me a dream that became a nightmare... It was extremely hard to ace reality... because he slowly dragged me into something that I didn't want, that I didn't need, and convinced me that something horrible would happen to him and me if I didn't comply to his every whims everyday. It happened so slowly and insidiously, as I let him cross the line just a little... more and more... It seemed insignificant until I ended up giving up everything that I loved, that made me me, my whole identity, so I could find the energy to devote myself to him...

His contradictions made me feel insecure, and I thought that the solution was to find comfort in him, but that was the problem. being alone terrified me and I felt lost, but when I embraced it I felt so free~ This is what I truly needed.

He refused to start sharing fairly, so I had to stop. I can't control what other people do, but I can control how I react to it.

I should have respected my limits, but he would always pull harder. He wouldn't stop, but I could stop to give him the opportunity. The good was just deceit, he admitted himself that he gives so I'd give him even more... It wasn't for the pleasure to see me smile.

All the signs where there, but I wanted to trust the bullshit, but the putrid stench of his actions was obvious even with my eyes closed. Eventually his kind gifts felt like manipulative bribery, like paying a whore so she'd comply to what she doesn't want, or a gift to shut up a neglected and betrayed wife after cheating on her instead to spend that time with her.

Everything moves constantly, so what seem insignificant will only worsen... If someone break your heart, don't wait until he breaks bone to find out that he's a pain and not worth the effort.

At first I had to force myself to leave him, and I was so brainwashed and addicted that it felt like I was dying, pure guilty torture... But then, as I stepped back and trusted my reason that this is what I need... I saw things from a different angle... Not through the eyes of someone who just want to love, but through the cold logical eyes of someone who wants to understand what's truly going on. When he said that he doesn't care that he broke my trust, it doesn't matter what kind of context it was, it became clear that he don't mind hurting me and won't even try to stop... because like he said "it's easier that way." After seeing what he is clearly, I didn't want to be with him anymore, I didn't need to force myself for my own good anymore, my heart wasn't longing for him because there's no way I can love someone like that... I loved the idea of being loved and taken care of, I can do that for myself alone.

What he did to me is despicable. My wrongs don't justify his wrongs. At least I was trying to make him smile, he was trying to make me make him smile...

Now I make myself smile, he can cry all he wants, he earned it.

Lisa Of Shades
28 March 2016

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