Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!

Health ~ Weight ~ Anorexia & Bulimia

Anorexic model skeleton - it's even easier to remove pounds from a model with photoshop
In brief
Survival mechanisms from bad information
The stars
To each their own healthy weight
The risks of being under
Hope against abuse: The law
Thinnest looks sickest
My story
Beauty is distorted with photoshop
Even family members can be wrong
Opinion of a cute guy
Crime against children
Your mental health and freedom aren't worth it

In brief

I suffered from anorexia and if you do, it's about time that someone tells you this:

Being underweight is just as unhealthy as being overweight.

Fat is necessary to survive, your brain is made of it. If you try to eliminate it completely, your success can only be a failure because:

To be healthy, choose health. Believe it.

Nothing is more important... than YOU.
When you needs are filled, you'll have the strength to reach what you want. For that reason:

Your needs have to come first.

Love and acceptance isn't something that can be deserved. It's about the heart and will of the person giving or denying. It's a choice and you have it too.

Start. Accept yourself. Love what's there.

Bring balance into your 3 basic needs:
Eating, acting and resting.

Life change. Needs change. Don't go blindly in one direction. Good can be bad. Bad can be good.

Even medical magazines aren't always right. Don't base your health in the fasion ones.

To fill their desires, people will pretend that it's for your own good and try to convince you that you want it or need it. Don't trust any advertising. Trust yourself.

Survive by any means necessary, even if it means being fatter and hurting people. Be wise and kinf to yourself.

You can trust your own body, he'll always be there to protect you, even from yourself. Take care of him and you'll never be alone: You will be there for yourself.

There will always be someone who will love you, and someone who will love you, no matter who you are and what you do. So you might as well follow your own heart.

Save yourself and enjoy~

Lisa Of Shades
8 August 2013

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Survival mechanisms from bad information

Emotions, beliefs and actions aren't diseases. When you try to understand you see that anorexia and bulimia are based on logic, even if it's a faulty one that produces unwanted results. When you look at it like that, you see that the only thing that you have to do to get better is to discover a better way to achieve better results.

We educate the rational part of the brain at school and hardship can make us mature emotionally, the primal brain also learns, sometimes subconsciously from the most devious sources.

If you hammer into people that if they get any fat they will die... and the thinner the better. Starvation is the only logical outcome. Even their survival instinct won't allow them to eat, because being unwanted and unloved is seen as even worst than death...

But it's a lie. Even obese people are loved and wanted. Even Hitler.

Choose a more realistic goal and set yourself free.

Aim at health and having a balanced life.
Every aspect of you and your life will become more beautiful.

It's hard to reprogram your survival instinct; he will fight you every steps of the way even if you're right. But if you want a better life, if you want to live, you have to learn better, choose it and do it.

But your whole body will also fight to survive when you are in danger, even if it comes from you being wrong. This is why he takes over to force feed you: to make reserves hoping to lengthen the starving agony that you made of your life.

Your body will protect you if you allow it. Your mistakes will teach you a better way if you face them.

Over eating hurts, especially since poor knowledge also makes you go towards the only thing that you know: junk. So it will be hard not to throw up. I think bulimics just end up accepting the cycle and going along with it. But really, it's just survival taking over.

Food companies make the most profit from artificial crap. So that's the most advertised, along with being thin, ironically... But it doesn't make it right or the best for you. They trick you into thinking it's not cardboard with poisonous chemicals flavoring.

That's why people over eat into obesity, they are starving for food and sealing toxins in fat to protect their vital organs. The fat is saving their life! It's not because they're obese that they're sick, but because they are sick that they become obese.

If you avoid chemicals and grains, you'll be able to eat all the greens and almonds you want. You'll never be able to become fat in a unhealthy way if almost everything you eat is healthy. You'll poop way too much from all that watery fiber. So don't feel threatened by food, simply beware chemicals that aren't. You won't be obese no matter how lazy you are, but if you're well nourished, you'll have more energy than you know what to do with!

Trust yourself, but don't believe anything you are told blindly. Even the best doctors and Einstein himself are just human and can't know everything; so what kind of absolute truth do you think you can expect from a fashion magazine...

People can pretend to want your well being while they try to abuse you. They're just trying to fill their needs by any means necessary, and so should you.

I have much more to share, knowledge is power and it helped me stop being anorexic. Hopefully this will give you perspective and hammer something better into your head.
Being thin isn't the best, and there's far worst than being fat.

It took a long time to convince you so deeply, so you won't let go easily.

But you can remind yourself what I am about to share.

Believe better, live better. You can save yourself.


Lisa Of Shades
8 August 2013

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The stars

People look at the stars and think all they have to do to be like them is to look like them. They want to be loved, adored, respected… so they starve themselves to be skinny, to fit in, to follow.

But they have it the other way around.

The stars aren’t successful because they denied their body what they needed…

They worked themselves hard, with dedication, passion, courage… they learned to act, to dance, to sign… they competed to be chosen at the best.

They got skinny because they are worked to the bones, exhausted… that’s why they need make up, so you won’t see the misery and sickness all over their faces.

Thinking that all you have to do is look as sickly, neglecting yourself for the sake of visual… then you’ll never be like them, you’ll never shine… because those people believed in themselves, believed that they could be the best and did it… with everything they got…

If you don’t even think that your body deserves to eat, what do you think it will be able to accomplish for you? Not much.

You need food for energy, to heal, to thrive… to accomplish your dreams. To feel and make your brain work… you even need food to be able to love and be happy.

Success isn’t a guarantee for love… being skinny even less… it’s certainly not healthy.

Those people suffered as much for the joys they have… and are hated as much for the love they get…

Have you seen how much they get humiliated, how much their lives can go wrong for all the world to see… how much more agonizing that must feel…

Everything is in balance.

If you want to accomplish greatness, then you have to act great… and for it you have to eat great foods.

Denying yourself junk is wisdom.

But denying yourself nutrients, vitamin and minerals… is a wish for misery and death.

Read the Purpose of fat.
Fat is good for you, your brain is made of it, your cells also, it can store fat soluble vitamins and help you survive a sickness when you are too weak to eat.

The most important things are the heaviest: Red flesh, muscle mass, water since it's vital to be hydrated and even bone density… Blindly aiming at the smallest possible weight, regardless of your personal needs like your height is pure ignorance. You can't reach your goal blindfolded, what if there's stairs ahead? You won't be prepared. Your body needs fat reserves for that very reason: to protect you.

Thinking that the scale has every answer, without taking your own body shape, needs and composition into consideration, would be as foolish and creepy as using a train track to cut your legs off for weight loss... Deprivation of your nutritional needs cause vital organ damage, it's even more dangerous!!!

Some things are there for a purpose and SHOULD STAY THERE!!!

Women are beautiful for being women, and thqat means curves, breasts and asses which are made of fat. It’s just sick to deny yourself to be more than bones and skin… that's how a corpse is! It’s repulsive to see a woman with ribs sticking out and obviously fake disproportional breasts…

They are beautiful not because they are skinny, but because they’re trying their best to achieve their dreams with everything they have… that’s why they shine no matter how sick and exhausted they get…

Nothing is more beautiful and attractive than a loving smile, no matter how fat you are.

If you want to be loved, then love yourself, for you can’t feel other people’s emotions.
If you want pride, then accomplish something you love and be proud of yourself.
If you want to live, then stop wasting your body away.

Eating healthy foods will give you the strength to reach your dreams.

Starving only brings death.

Enjoy a better life.

You don't need to deserve it; you don't need to be worthy.
Just live.

There will always be someone who will love and hate you for whatever you'll do and are.
It's up to you to choose who you want to keep near and dear.

Mistakes are the best teachers. They can help you discover yourself and the best ways for you. If you make one, try to understand it. You can't take it back; making yourself throw up is useless, it will just hurt you even more. Humbly accept the bad as a part of life. Sometimes we need to do bad things to survive.

Try to understand why and how you can provide the need in a healthier way, how you can find a better path to reach what you truly wish. For example you'll have much more calcium for your bones with green vegetables than in a bowl of ice cream, and the fiber will be much more effective than laxatives. The vitamin C will do wonders for all of you as well~ If you get the magnesium you need from almonds, your survival instinct won't take over and force you to binge on chocolate. You can have what your body needs without the fattening sugars and cancer causing chemicals. You just need to go with natural sources instead. You can trust nature, outside and inside you.

Many companies will make you believe that it's their junk or nothing or that you're too stupid or have better things to do than to cook. It's a lie, skills can be learn, and nothing is more important than what you put or not in your mouth. Food becomes you. It's not just about fuel or healing, every 7 years it's a whole new you. You wouldn't want some vital organs to fail to be reborn do you? Denying yourself building blocks is like denying your own child the right to eat and grow. Be kind to yourself.

Make sure your wish is something that you really want granted. Some desires aren't worth the cost and all come with a downside just as bad as the upside. Make sure you can handle both. Because you will have to deal with the worst as well, sooner or later.

Nurturing your needs always bring rewards.
The worst of it can simply be to figure out how.

Sometimes it's hard to have the wisdom to see the difference between want and need, but you can trust how you feel inside. It will guide you. If you want what you need, you will find great health and happiness. This will make you feel beautiful.

Don't fight against your body, make it your best ally and you'll never feel alone, you'll have strength... because you will be there for yourself, no matter what... and your mistakes will actually help you figure out what you need to do.

Even mistakes will help you shine even more than you already do, if you are willing to learn from them and take care of yourself, with respect and love.

You want it? You need it? Then give it to yourself first.
You want control and feel good with yourself?
Then take control of your health.

You won't be starved and ravenously hungry if you provide to your body the vitamins and minerals he needs to survive, function, thrive and be happy.

Avoiding some foods can be wisdom:
Grains if you have celiac disease or at all.
Sugars if you have reactive hypoglycemia, diabetes, or at all.
Foods containing chemicals as bad as paint and poisons that cause brain damages.

But there's more to life than commercial food that publicities try to force on you, by preying on your insecurities and putting more fears in you... to exploit you! Companies don't want to help you, they want your cash and will use terror and push you towards impossible goals to get it! Dismiss that crap.

The great things of life aren't in ads, you have to learn them for yourself; and most of the time they're free.

Eat greens, feed on life
, and you will shine more than the stars.

Those poor sickly, miserable and exhausted creatures... They're the absolute symbol of having your very life exploited for the amusement of others... I pity them. Nothing can replace or compensate what they're losing in it.

Everyone deserve better than what they think they want, by not knowing better. Even you.

It's about time for you to look beyond what you're told and find out.
There is so much more in life. So much more is your own life.

People don't treat you like crap because you're not skinny enough, but because they treat themselves like crap and don't know any better either. They only have their own misery to share. There's nothing better to earn, there's nothing better in them to get! If they want to love you, they will find a way, they'll be in denial of unforgivable flaws if they have to. If they want to use you as a punching bag, they'll invent reasons to hate you, no matter how absurd and unfair they can be. You have no power on what people choose for themselves, no matter how badly you deserve their love or want to help them.

But you can treat yourself better; it's your only duty in life. You owe it to yourself.
If you are alive by the end of the day, your life is a success.
Life wants nothing more and nothing less from you to think you're perfect already.

I've been anorexic before, I was proud... until I lost my breasts completely... until I became unable to eat, then I started to be scared. I drank a raw egg to be able to eat again... Gross... But I did it... Because I wanted to live.

It's what's inside that counts... functioning vital organs.

When you can barely walk, barely breathe, what good does it do to have some sadistic people think you're prettier that way... weak, defenseless, unable to think clearly... The people who demand that are incapable of love; they want easy control out of their own insecurities. Just a lifeless sex doll, not a person.

It wasn't worth it. I couldn't accomplish what I love this way. All I felt... was cold... all I felt... was death... and it's also all I wished for.

Now all I want is to heal to be healthy and finally... I feel beautiful.

I've never been more proud. I don't need anyone to tell me that I'm lovable because I'm too busy loving myself. I'm the one who choose.

Health is the true beauty. Nothing is more beautiful than a smile.   Confidence and strength start with health.
The key is vitamins, minerals, proteins and YES even fats.

You need no one's approval or permission to respect, love and take care of yourself.
All you have to do is to choose to, and do it.


Lisa Of Shades
6 August 2013

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To each their own healthy weight

Here's a site for: body mass index calculator.
Know and believe that:
If anyone tries to make you endanger your health, he's a THREAT for your very survival! It doesn’t matter how much you love that person or organization; you’re no good to anyone sick and dead!

Change the world. Demand better.


Lisa Of Shades
6 August 2013

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The risks of being under

It's actually hard to find the risks of being underweight because there's so many obese people. But there are risks as well (from betterhealth) :

  • Compromised immune function
  • Respiratory disease
  • Digestive disease
  • Cancer
  • Osteoporosis (Increased risk of falls and fractures)
Also, I recommend to watch Supersize Vs. Superskinny on youtube or others:
  • Heart attack, because you end up eating your own heart.
  • Infertility. (I doubt you can breast feed if you don't have any breasts and don't eat greens to make extra milk to feed an extra person)
Also from personnal experience:
  • Hypoglycemia, which cause depression, confusion, psychosis, coma, death... but the last one is the least of your worries.
  • Hypothyroidism, which also cause depression, slowing down the metabolism to try to live as long as possible with insufficient ressources.
  • Anemia, lack of red blood cell from insufficient B12, Iron+C... they carry oxygen... so you suffocate no matter how much you breathe. This can cause psychosis because your brain just can't understand and alnalyze clearly.
  • Adrenal fatigue... from too much stress. It had undreds of vital functions that will shut down without proper nutrition.
  • Dehydration from lack of minerals, causing fainting spells from low blood pressure... heart palpitations so unpleasant that psychiatrists, who know nothing about biology, call that panic attacks and anxiety... Because you need salt to hold on to water... so you loose your blood by peeing constantly...
There's biologically no way you can reach happiness by triggering several causes of depressions all at once, and every vitamin and mineral deficiency causes that alert as well!

Someone told me that sex was unpleasant because of the bones sticking out, like the pelvis. I don't like hollow cheeks and black circles under the eyes, pale lips, weak nails... it can all be covered up with make up and that's why it exists... But why choose paint and furniture varnish when you could achieve the same with vegetables?

You are alive, you're just human... No one has the right to ask more of you, not even yourself.

Treating yourself this way isn't beauty, isn't control, it's punishment.
I don't know what you think you did, but I forgive you, just do your best not to do it again.

But you don't need this to forgive yourself... for doing this to yourself... and finally dare to admit... that this is an horrid mistake hurting you. Don't fear that you wasted your efforts, health and life... You tried to take good care, at least you tried, but you need to readjust some things that are giving the opposite results.

Too little is just as bad as too much.
There's a time for both, and the time has passed.

There's other ways to reach achievements... not by running blindly in an extreme or the other, but by figuring out the wisdom to find balance.

When my clothes start to be too small, I don't buy bigger ones, I go easy on my beloved cheese for a while. If I end up losing them and having skin so dry and scaly that I look like a snake, I put olive oil in my salad. Needs changes. A diet is a lifestyle. Changes that can save the life of someone obese and with high blood pressure could bring the downfall of someone starving with low blood pressure. Not everyone is the same. The propaganda about fat wasn't meant for skinny people to become bony. But instead of weight loss, they should have taught to feed on life, on vegetables, to avoid toxins and get real nourishment... then any type of bodies and people could have embraced it and become healthier. The weight would have balanced itself out naturally~

You can stop and try something new.

The point of weight loss isn't loss of weight but better health. When that compromises your health, then you're missing the point! Focus on health, on the path, and you'll be there before you know it.

You took your information for health in lies, at worst, and meant to people who are the opposite of you, at best. Either way, this path is no longer for you.

You have nothing to fear from fat. But you should fear death. There are agonies far worst than death itself, please don't do one to yourself... There's no love in this...

Enjoy good foods~

Lisa Of Shades
6 August 2013

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Hope against abuse: The law

Israel banned too skinny model.
I thought that they didn’t care about their women. I'm happily corrected.

They demand a "Body Mass Index (BMI) of at least 18.5", which makes a healthy weight vary from person to person. Because under that there’s health risks just like there are for obesity. You can’t argue with the minimum vital requirements. But I believe that you’ll have to weight even more if you wan to be athletic, since muscles are heavy.

Some argued “If designers want women to look like boys or if designers want women to look like 8-year-olds, you're not going to change that.” No, but you can make laws against misogyny and pedophilia… wait, they exist already!!!

It’s harder to design for many body types and big curves. It’s way easier to just stitch 2 lines and add design on top of that. But voluptuous breasts and buttocks can’t fit in that. So they tell you that you’re the wrong ones, instead to admit that they just don’t have the talent to figure it out… or plain don’t care.

But it’s worst than that. Designers want women to look like boys. They rob and deny you your own femininity to sell it back to you at high price with expensive clothes. Just like Nestle who convinced women not to use their own breast milk and to buy their formula, many babies starved to death. All that for profit. If they can kill babies, they sure won’t care to starve women either.

Some men are so misogynic, they fear and hate women to the point that they want to see boys everywhere and make you disappear. With gays it would make more sense, yet they can be the best friend that a woman can hope to have. But ironically, many straight men think like that. Some people just can’t understand the purpose of diversity; they just want everything and everyone to be the mirror of their own selfish ego. So they pressure you to starve yourself until you look like a boy; to destroy your identity. They denying you the very right to exist as a woman, now that’s some intense hate. You can't hope to be loved if you obey, only to be destroyed! Don’t deny it to yourself, treat yourself with love.

Men wouldn’t be born without women. Scientists can use any cells to clone anything as long as you have an ovule, men alone can’t make life go on… but women can. So why would they be superior? They’re not, females have a vital purpose just like males. Our breasts and our strong hips are there to promote life. How can they possibly be anything else than beautiful, no matter what they look like.

But it gets even uglier… and this one applies to boys too. They want you to look like a child… A defenseless child, mindlessly obedient like a doll, one they can just use without resistance, without fear of rejection, because you’d be at their disposal like a sperm toilet, a slave. Fragile, vulnerable, weak… from starvation… this makes them feel in control, powerful, unchallenged… They don't want a person to love, they want an object to use, that's even worst than a slave!!! When an old man can’t challenge a woman his age and need children to feel like he’s worth something good… then he really has to be lower than the shit in a baby’s diaper. Weaklings like that don’t even deserve the bullet to shoot them, or the time of day… so certainly not your health as you try to become even lower than them. But it takes strength to endure that much agony… even miserable and sick, you’re still far superior and worthier than the people you’re trying to be approved by.

And who the hell are they anyway!? Some old men, or gay designer, in a far away land… It’s not your lover, if you met them you’d probably despise them so much that you wouldn’t even want to spit in their faces because they’d be a waste of saliva… so certainly not make yourself puke for them… it hurts! It destroys your teeth and gums, and who would want to kiss that vomit breath?

A couple isn’t build on who’s the slimmest, because you can’t build a family if your body is so starved that you can’t even have periods anymore, that you don’t even have breasts anymore, or hips strong enough to support the weight of the growing baby…

A couple is based on sharing interests, on bringing your strength to help the other’s weaknesses and balance each other. Support with understanding and kindness. Being open minded and respectful of the others while feeling safe enough to open your heart while respecting your own limits. Why would I accept any less? I’d rather be alone than have a partner who makes me feel lonelier than alone and miserable. Find who you are, what you want, and then find someone who fits with you.

Starving with fake boobs butchered into you to be a toy for an obese rich elderly… so you can buy some fancy bags to put your dog in… It sounds like a bad plot for a horror movie… the kind of brain dead (it's makde of fat) shallow girl who dies first and then the guy gets cut in half by a chainsaw. I actually laugh a lot at those, but that's just sad. That’s no way to live, no matter the cash, I wouldn’t feel safe if I'm not even treated like a living thing, but just one more object in a collection.

But I read even worst… Some women are nymphomaniacs because you can absorb nutrients from any parts of your body; and they are so starved that they feed on sperm, since they’re rich in protein and zinc… and that’s the only thing that men will allow women to ingest without scorn… If a woman is starved, she’ll be way eager to open her mouth, suck and swallow whatever a man wants to put in there, without complains… whenever, wherever…

It’s torture in the name of sexual slavery, not beauty.

The ugly and sick thing in there is that it’s without your consent… because they trick you to believe that it’s to be beautiful, healthy, to take care of yourself… to be loved… when the only possible result couldn’t be further from that… They make you believe that you want this… no one wants to feel hungry, cold, weak, have head aches… and die. But everyone wants to be accepted, wanted, cherished, loved. But it has to start with yourself if you wish to have it. You have to know and live better if you want to be able to offer it.

Don’t accept anyone wanting to commit such crimes against you.

Your choices change the world.

We have what they want, what they need, we have the power. Why do you think they think it’s necessary to crush us like this? We even have the money. They seem to have more, but that’s because they took it from many of us.

There’s a huge difference between being athletic and bony. Just like there is between being on top of your healthy BMI range and morbidly obese. Bony is just as sick looking as obese, at least obese people get some protection and reserves out of this.

Enjoy the warm protection of a healthy thin coat of fat~

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Thinnest looks sickest

Valeria Levitina is the thinnest woman in the worldValeria Levitina is the thinnest woman in the world. Does she look beautiful and happy to you? (I'm a proud person, but I can't help but cry every time I look at her...)

Well, she gets fan mail (the link is the image). So you'll be loved no matter the stupid shit that you do and how ugly you are... so you might as well treat yourself right and be a healthy example...

World's most anorexic woman dreams of motherhood. Do you think she'll be able to realize her dream? What's a nobler accomplishment, her low weight or being able to have children with a fatter body? What do you think would make you feel loved the most: to look like the grim reaper himself, or to have a child give you hugs and make macaroni pictures for you?

Apparently she started to walk towards death because some guy told her that her ass was huge in a cruel and colorful way... she should have kicked his balls. Don't let some jerk comment shatter your whole existence and perception of yourself, especially if it's true. You have enough to deal with your own human flaws without allowing anyone to bully you, they have just as much and probably worst: they're jerks!

So what if you have a big cushion, many guys will adore that. The ones who'll mock it is probably dying to play with it and too embarrassed to just say it straight and nicely. He sure was looking at it to notice. I don't think he'd have the stomach to look at her now... and she doesn't have enough stomach left to eat her way back to health no matter how much she wants to...

If she do it nice and slow... maybe she'll get back her health and womanhood, but a lot of damage will most likely be permanent. Don’t wait until it’s you’re in too deep… But the very first step of denying yourself enough food is a walk in that direction: death.

Isabelle Caro Dead: Anorexic Model Dies At 28. She had just done a series of ad to show the dangers of Anorexia.

I don't think it's a nervosa... But in society people never take the time to appreciate, we never think that anything is ever good enough for us to finally welcome happiness and enjoy. Because that requires an effort. When you're treated that way all your life, especially a child by a parent or by the people you love... and then told that you also have to be slimmer... This brainwash has anorexia as outcome.

You can't undo decades of mental torment in a few minutes, but you can fight against it everyday of your life... You can reject that ungrateful mob mentality. You can give up on cold hearts.

You can give up on deserving love and love the hell out of yourself anyway!!!

You can be grateful for your life, for everything that you see, smell, touch... to be able to walk and breathe without feeling agony... I sure am. The hell with people who have nothing else but bitterness in their hearts, I cultivate better for myself. I love myself. With my big boobs and bouncy ass! Even if I would have preferred to be a man... but they have issues too.

Don't be one more dead statistic, enjoy life~

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My story

I started being anorexic after a documentary against it. I thought that being undernourished and over-exercise was an effective way. I thought that I was more intelligent than those girls, being in special classes for the gifted, so hat I wouldn't loose control and just loose the extra pounds... But I was wrong, because the way you lose them is even more important than the result... The very first step... was a bad move.

I was so proud of being able to do hundreds of push ups and sit ups everyday... but that's probably one of the reasons why I got adrenal fatigue later... All my endocrine system started to shut down like a domino effect... it was agonizing physically and mentally, since the brain is a part of the body.

When I got my heart broken, I didn't eat at all for a week to prove to myself that I had control over my life... But what I actually did was to give it up and punish myself... I wanted to numb the pain away... I didn't even drink for 4 days... What I wanted was to disappear... But I should have nourished myself to have the strength to go through this stress... Vitamin C sure can do wonders.

I thought that I would be able to end my anorexia whenever I was satisfied... That it was a great way to quickly shrink my stomach. I was wrong. In my case it's not that I was never satisfied, I woke up when I couldn’t eat more than one bite anymore. I couldn’t even if I wanted to, that's not according to my will!

It was hard to admit that I lost control, that I was falling rapidly in a ravine… But I struggled and fought to live... and I won against my own stupidity and death. Now I know better. I still wish I was athletic, not bony and skinny, I never wanted that. But building muscles would be exhausting for my fragile health.

I have to rebuild my vital organs for now. It's actually more fun and more rewarding to nurture my health.

I say no the bad & yes to the good. That new mentality about foods affects others aspects of my life as well; like not allowing cruel people to abuse me. Because I'm well fed, not overfed but properly nourished, I can beat their wits and I have the confidence to even beat them up! But a defiant angry look is more than enough. Wimps. They sure are worst than being alone. I like the serenity of my peace~ I only try to please myself now, and I appreciate any outcome just for being alive. It's win-win!

You're stronger and more beautiful than you think.

You're alive and life is beautiful.

It’s health that matters. Bring back life into your life.

It's hard to find a new way to live, but as long as you're still alive, it's never too late. But the end might be closer than you think. Yet no matter how much anorexia and bulimia (when the survival instinct takes over for a while) causes diseases, it's not an illness. It's a choice, a lifestyle. You choose to believe that this was the way, you can give a chance to another path.

You just need to trust yourself to make the best decision for yourself.
That's logical and how it has to be.

Explore and discover better than what you're told!

A healthier lifestyle is there for you to welcome it with open arms.

You don't have to be afraid anymore, because you've already lost too much, and can gain many precious things.

If you just... let go... you'll fall back on your feet.

Love what's there.


Lisa Of Shades
7 August 2013

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Beauty is distorted with photoshop

I just added the image to my article. I made it with flash vectors and photoshop. The make up is from real people and the hairs are a fairy tale wig, because that's what those models are... a fantasy. If I can do all that with a computer, it's even easier to remove pounds and imperfections from a model. Some are even a combination of more than one girl!

Watch the YouTube video: Dove. You'll see that the model displayed in publicities and magazines have nothing to do with reality and just can't, shouldn't and mustn’t be achieved... nor agonize and die trying.

Just like cartoons and 3D modeling; you're not supposed to look like that.

Those unreal imaginary characters don't need to eat... YOU DO!

Perfection doesn't exist. Some dreams can only come true as NIGHTMARES.

Also this video of a man: Ugly to sexy (Extreme photoshop makeover). You'll see how badly reality can be bent with a computer. It doesn't mean that you should give up on taking care of yourself either...

Living is messy, confusing and difficult... but that's also what makes it amazing, if you take care of it the best you can. It's the journey that makes it interesting. Correcting a mistake and finding your own way in the dark can be the greatest accomplishment; and its own reward.

Take small gentle steps, and you'll be able to keep handle it and keep it in your life (and stomach). Before you'll know it, you'll have changed for the better.

Life is more beautiful.
Choose health.


Lisa Of Shades
7 August 2013

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Even family members can be wrong

They can also be massive shit heads only capable of spreading misery around them.
Thankfully you won't be there forever, hold on, know that anyone deserves better and give it to yourself. Take care and eventually you'll be able to push jerks out of the way.

But this is an encouraging story: My Story of Anorexia (Triggering) she recovered.

My mother told me I was fat too, that I was ugly... and stupid... That she weighted 89 pounds at my age... Later I learn with a BMI calculator that I'm not supposed to go under 105 pounds, and it could have been very dangerous for my health... But my mother... demanded it... with disdain... and scorn...

But she never bought greens for me, only junk. So what choice did I have between being fat and not eating at all. So I stopped eating... I didn't want to be a top model, I just wanted to be loved, or at least to be left in peace... Instead to recieve psychological violence everyday... at school as well...

She never said but I bet she liked that, she could buy herself more dresses with my dad's child support. She sure did. What kind of mother doesn't notice that her child eats no food for a year... I wasn’t hiding it. A criminal bitch.

She liked to use me as a mental punching bag for her own frustrations; it had nothing to do with what I deserved, with what I did or was... She hated herself, maybe because she was twice as fat as me!!! But when I tried to point that out, she said that it's because she had kids... blaming me...

She came to beat me up after her boyfriend trashed her...

I finally woke up and punched her in the throat, which I’ll forever remember as the best day of my life!

I was done with anorexia and drugs by that time, this was like my reward... for deciding to believe that my life has more value... that I'm the only one who'll decide what I'm worth and deserve!

Now I'm the master of my own budget. I can finally buy food that won't make me sick... My body is more than happy to keep the fresh natural products that I give him; chewing it for a long time, enjoying myself.

Do what you have to do to survive. Even if it means to be fatter, or to punch the people you wish you could be loved from and that you wish you could love.

Society tries to make you believe that you have to starve to fit in, it's a lie! Look at how obese Americans are. They want skinny models so they won't have to look at themselves! Kick that shit out of your life! Use google and teach yourself better values. Invent them and make them happen around you. The world is at your fingertips.

I flushed my whole family down the toilet. It was hard but I've never felt more liberated.

Life changes, paths cross and part... Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it sets you free.

Keep hope and make it happen. One step can go a long way. Make sure it's in the right direction... But you can step back, and move away... anytime you wish... if you are patient and let it flow as slowly, change will come.

Society terrified us into not eating, so we could use that money to buy make up and gadgets instead... But make up can't make up for things worst than death.

Make sure your priorities, dreams and goals are worth living for...

If they're not, it's not the time to die... but simply to
try something new.

Do whatever it takes to protect your life.
It's yours!
You're the only one who deserves to live it.
So choose how. And live!


Lisa Of Shades
7 August 2013

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A brainwash occurs by subtly repeating the same thing over and over. I hope that mine could help you ease the wrongs that have been hammered in your head with no regards for who you are and your health.

The world doesn't matter; the world can go to hell.
The most important in your life is YOU.

Without you the world would go on, but you are the hero of your own story.

Save yourself.


Lisa Of Shades
7 August 2013

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Opinion of a cute guy

I'm going to share 2 YouTuve videos by Connor Franta. He's adorable and funny so you can trust what he says.

In 10 Things Guys Hate That Girls Do, he explains that there's things that aren't liked about girls, but guys still love them anyway.

It's nice to try to improve yourself, but obsessing and making it the center of your life and identity, that's going overboard. Just take it easy.

Guys tease girls because they like them and want to play. Just play along and strike back, it's what they want; or dismiss it completely. Think about how guys are together. Men do matches against each other. Acting that way with girls isn't to be mean, but using the skills they're best at... it's all they know. For ages, all they did was fight to feed and protect the home, while the woman nurtured and cared for them and the children. You can't just ask them to dismiss millions of years of evolution; just try to understand their purpose.

Guys are like puppies biting each other's tails and ears. It's just awkward affection to get some passionate attention. They know that by pushing your buttons you won't be able to resist giving it to them, it's just using the most effective way. Guys think like that, not with the emotional brain first like most girls do, but the rational one. There's nothing wrong with either way, but sometimes guys might seem heartless, yet their goals can be very heart felt. So that's why they tease you; not because they hate you, but actually because they love you.

Even the most confident people can be shy, and actually... even biology isn't straightforward. There are a lot of steps and you can loose sight of the point. So you can't expect people to be linear in their logic either.

Connor Franta, a healthy weight is in between extremesIn Things Girls Should Know About Guys, he explains that guys like girls who are regular. Not an extreme but an healthy in between. They like girls who can eat junk with them every once in a while.

And, again, guys like to poke girls.

I eat healthy. I'm very severe with my diet, as a lifestyle, to get back my health. But once in a blue moon, I can eat junk. If I'm at an all you can eat sushi restaurant, the sky is the limit and beyond!

In the whole length of my life, it's not going to have much of an impact, no matter how sick I can feel after sometimes, so I just let nature flow its course. It will hurt my body more to force it to go in reverse... But a birthday cake is supposed to be once a year, not as a everyday breakfast.

I also heard that women eat the same way they do sex. If a girl just pick at a dry salad, guys can expect to be bored. But if a woman can enjoy herself in a restaurant, she'll most likely enjoy herself in bed and be more active. Maybe because she'll have the energy to. Why do you think guys want to pay for your food...

Enjoy it~

Lisa Of Shades
8 August 2013

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Crime against children

Another YouTube video. This is SICK!!!
Mom Injects 8-Year-Old w/ Botox for Beauty Pageants

A 8 years old DO NOT have wrinkles. If she has, then her skin is dehydrated and malnourished. I'm 33 years old and I DO NOT have wrinkles.

When I have lines on the sides of my noses to the corner of my mouth, I don't get poison injections; I drink and eat something salty, like celery... or add grey Celtic sea salt to my water. Works like a charm.

Also, VITAMIN C makes your collagen... if you don't have enough to fill your face, you won't have enough for your arteries and heart either!!! So eat GREENS!!!

Of course if I frown I'm going to bend my skin on my forehead. Of course if I smile fondly the corner of my eyes are going to fold. But that skin is there so I can move my face in different ways! If I raise my eyebrows it gives me big anime eyes, a gentle expression, and my skin just stays in place. If you take your hand and squish it, I hope it's going to wrinkle all over... otherwise you're a lifeless porcelain doll...

If you torture your kids... stabbing their faces with needles telling them they're not beautiful enough... You're sick!!! She doesn't even have the qualifications and buy the stuff online; it could be cooking oil for all she knows!!! Cooking Oil Destroys Face. "Be happy with what you have because it can get fucking worst!"

Sadistic mom, what kind of values are you giving the poor child!? How much do you think she'll hate herself when she'll reach the age she's might get wrinkles. Logically she'll desperately throw herself at unlicensed surgeons and get butchered... How do you think she'll be as a teenager? Oh you'll deserve the nightmare that I hope you'll get when she'll be at that revolted age, and I really hope that she'll free herself from your grip in the meanest way. A punch in the throat is too good for you.

That Unworthy mom feels so miserable with herself that she tries to live through her daughter and transpose her own flaws on her. If she stopped eating sugary chemicals and ate broccoli, she would have a healthy weight and she would have a beautiful skin!!!

Broccoli is beautiful; it looks like a mini tree, and those are nicest and kindest creature on earth. It makes oxygen and food for all living things and never hurts anyone. Their seeds, like almonds, are a powerhouse of life as well. EAT THEM!!!

Not starvation and chemicals. That kind of crap has to stop. It's not beauty, it's a crime!

Enjoy your broccoli!!! Just put cheese on them!!! EAT THEM!!!


Don't inject artificial ones in your face!!! And certainly not in the face of a kid. Children are sacred!!! You're supposed to protect them from the world, not volunteer to torture them! You stupid bitch... I mean that mom. Not you, reader.

Don't take personal what you read and hear. There's an add on YouTube that says "You've been obese for a long time" instead of "If you are obese you might want to try this". If you speak directly to any people, someone can have a perfect weight and take it personal... what do you think will happen after being told "You have 100 pounds to loose" when you weight 132 pounds like I do!!! Blindly targeting anybody can cause disasters.

Blindly trusting what publicity tells you is foolish. Just stop. You won’t be anymore. It’s that simple. But don’t stop eating, your brain needs food. Just make sure it’s real food.

Train your brain to think...

Start thinking now.


Stop and ask yourself... "Do I really need to stab my beautiful little girl with needles... every mom on earth does it... but don't I love my child more than that? Wouldn't I prefer to be the best loving mom instead to create the perfect doll? Wouldn't my kid be happier if I told her how pretty she is, instead to tell her that she has ugliness on her face and must suffer for it?"

If you're the kid, know that no love is worth suffering for. That's the very opposite of what love is. Giving compassion, support, encouragements and reassurance as your mom feels ugly is one thing... letting her put you down with her and join her self mutilation... that's just sad. That's not being good... something horribly wrong is being done to you and you shouldn't allow this. Scream, kick, bite... protect yourself. It's not because people should do it that they do... people can tell you they're here to help, but they're even more messed up than you'll ever be, and more stupid than you. Aging doesn't make someone more intelligent if all the knowledge they take in is garbage... and it doesn't even cause wrinkles if you feed properly.

There's also face exercises: Jack Lalanne - Face Workout 2 of 30 he looks like he had a face lift because his skin is so good at almost 90. But he's doing this since he's young: Jack Lalanne - Face Workout 1 of 30.

He's the living proof that you don't have to torture yourself with scalpels, needles or starvation to look beautiful. You can accomplish this with fun and silly things. I actually do this instinctively once in a while. Not as an exercise routine, more like a spontaneous stretching when I feel stiff. Like a cat. I lift my eyebrows and slightly smile. It makes me feel happiness and wonder. It really takes way less than you think to feel better.

Stop doing crimes against yourself, or at least don't do it to your kids.

Don't make things even worst. Appreciating what you're very lucky to have.


Lisa Of Shades
8 August 2013

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Everyone can suffer from anorexia, men as well. As you can see in the video:
Anorexic Male Model.

Manorexia - anorexia in men: balance food with exercise, or your body will eat them to survive. Perfection doesn't exist but that man was probably as close to it as he could get as his personnal best.

But he had a shock in his life and he tried to better himself to go through it... but the wrong way.

He broke the balance between eating, doing and resting... he believed that improvement was from exercises to gain muscles and an athletic body... But he should have nurtured himself with healthy foods to heal from the trauma and rested. Instead he tried what he knew, what everyone said was good for you to feel better: exercise.

But he neglected to eat accordingly so his body ate his muscles to survive...

He used the time for eating to do more exercise instead, eating less when he should have eaten more also. Even good things can go wrong when taken out of balance.

This is how a good thing can become bad, and how a bad thing can become good. He should have rested. Yup, just sitting on his ass and take it easy so his body could recover. (Read on adrenal fatigue in my sections or at adrenalfatigue.)

That's not being lazy, when rest is what you need, it's self care.

Balance is the key. Nothing is absolute.

Enjoy a good rest. If you feel like you need it, then you deserve it.

It's hard to admit that your values are killing you, especially when they helped you before. But just like the weather and seasons, life change, needs change. Being skinny in winter isn't safe. You loose weight naturally by running around in the sun when summer returns.

Enjoy change. You'll feel lost, but you'll figure it out. We can breathe under water, we can fly. We're adaptable creatures. Trust nature.

Just give yourself a chance by allowing yourself the widom to find a new way.


Lisa Of Shades
8 August 2013

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More in my other section: Uncommon sense ~ How to suicide ~ Starving

Lisa Of Shades
11 September 2013

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Your mental health and freedom aren't worth it

I replied someone in yahoo... who was in deep distress... she was cutting herself all over her body... which is a sign of hypoglycemic food rage... it can come out as rage and against oneself instead to jump on someone and literally eat them (what I had to cope with before I understood why).

Her therapist was obviously useless because you can only nourish your body to heal from the strain that trauma put on it, you can't talk starvation away... he spoke in her back... didn't tell her what he thought of her... but she heard... she was about to be locked away... her mother hugged her crying...

The more I paid attention to the possible truth behind her story... I noticed her avatar... bony girl who looked like an anorexic...

And what she actually had, hypoglycemia, was already obvious... but then I understood the cause: starvation pressured by fake ideals of beauty.

So I want to say to you all... it's even worst than I've realized... it's not worth being skinny to wear your straight jacket... and if you are locked up from self hatred and mutilation, it won't matter how beautiful you are, because the world won't be able to see you, you'll feel too miserable to see it yourself... and the way to make it better isn't to starve yourself even more... control is balance, not either extremes. You'll have wisdom if your brain is well fed...

Grab a magazine and stab it saying "You're not real, you're the ugly one, you're not even human, you're made with photoshop and paint all over your face!" You'll feel much better than cutting yourself... a body full of scars is creepy... I usually like creepy but not that way.

So eat... because if you end up in so much pain, mentally and physically... there's no way that this can possibly be beauty.

Everything that you've been told... was a lie... to hurt you... not because you weren't good enough... you always were... but because those monsters wanted to weaken and exploit you.

Let go... be free... be happy.


Lisa Of Shades
30 October 2013

To do: the corsage that moved and crushed internal organs to have a wasp wraist. Google it.
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!