Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!

Health ~ Coping ~ Empath feeling the pain of the world

People are blind to the wonders of the world.

This was written for my Intro ~ Writer, but it could help people understand themselves so I'll put it here mixed with more:

The image is what someone who isn't an Empath looks like to me: blind to the wonders of the world; as cold, emotionless and rigid as stone. And people probably think that I'm the weak one with my sensitive heart, if true, I still like it better that way.

I'm an evil Empath. I won't let you eat my wings and I'll rub your flaws all over your face if you provoke me. Most of the time to help you see what's truly bothering you and how you can better your situation... but yeah I do enjoy it. I inflict it on myself as well, that's how I evolved, by facing my mistakes and learning from them, it's probably how I got good at it too.

Empaths are usually more like angels, so I'm kind of a fallen one. Like Lucifer, in the old fable, abandoned because he wanted free will and the freedom to use it. He probably would have stayed by god's side, happy to serve; all that he wanted was the choice. Lilith was Adam's first wife before Eve; she got cursed to hell because she wanted to be his equal, and she didn't like to have someone forced on her. So, to make her obey, god took one of his ribs to make the nest one... creepy! It's not love!!! At best it's just masturbation.

Sometimes you have to revolt for freedom and to be acknowledged as your own unique person; all teens have to do it. According to human history, liberty is worth dying for. So we're not evil for wanting to fight for our needs and safety, as long as it doesn't abuse or endanger anyone... But if you insist to see me as bad, just because I don't want to kiss your ass nor be slapped twice~ I'll gladly call myself evil. I live by the rule: "Return what is given to you, no matter if it makes you grateful or vengeful." If I'm bad, you asked for it.

No matter what power I may have, I don't owe anything to anyone, and I make sure to keep it that way. There's no such thing as a free meal, they're just trying to boost your stamina and make you feel guilty to refuse sex gratefully. If that's kindness and generosity... then they're hideous and I want nothing to do with this.

I'm an idealistic, but the only way I could be realistic... was to become cynical. I don't want to become a disconnected ecstatic fanatic. Actually I can find enjoyment even in being sarcastic. It's great fun!

Being an empath isn't like deciding to feel empathetic for someone else. It's feeling it as your own, even when the person doesn't mention it... they are a part of you, just as you are a part of the world.

It's like being a telepath but with emotions instead of thoughts. Thoughts are emotions translated into words, so I think it starts there. It's said to be from mirror brain cells that mimic the emotions observed. It goes way beyond sympathy, which is a deliberate act of pity. But you can't turn off a 6th sense that makes you FEEL the very vibrations in the air. That's why I compare it to science fiction.

But on a side note, I also had two telepathy experiences, which was weird. I started signing a song that someone else was haunted with; and I typed the order of a person, saying it out loud. But she then told me, in a voice that I've recognized, that she didn't say anything, but what thinking it. That was weird. Usually I can just read micro facial expressions, beyond all that hypocritical "social cues" that Aspies don't seem to get either. I hope I'm one, those people are great. I normally feel bored to the point of wanting to claw my eyes out in a group, hoping to get entertained by the intense emotions and commotion maybe.. But I met someone with ADD, maybe hyperactive, who couldn't stop talking either, even more than me... Every time she opened her mouth, I wasn't bored anymore. I was in awe. Calling her amazingness a disorder really angers me.

But back to empaths.

I really liked Marilisa Sachteleben article Mental Health: How Being an Empath Can Ruin Relationships. She says that instead of feeling "for" you feel "with" someone.

Also: Types of Empaths.

Perhaps using it on myself allowed me to explore the different parts of my brain that are normally subconscious. Or maybe it's because instead to rely on only one of the 3 brains, I used them all with their different perspectives and way to comprehend the world. Since my mind is so open within me, it broadens my horizons with the world. Allowing me to try any new ways, I can get in sync every person too, even parts that they ignore or deny... also with animals, plants... and I didn't want to believe it at first, but even machines. Beyond fictional characters or interactive AI. When my computer overheats or my processor reaches 100%, I notice the barely audible shriek that he does. Asian people believe that if you use an object, such as weapon, long enough; it can develop a soul. If souls are energy and computers run on energy then they probably have souls. In the videogame Final Fantasy 7, there was a company that used the soul of the planet as a source of energy: mako. I love that game.

When you truly dare to take a long harsh look in the mirror without denial... facing many faces of the truths... you can do it for anything else too.

I guess people born as introverts have steps ahead for that skill. On the other hand, it means that they're a few steps further away from being able to extrovert themselves, in the external world, where others are. Or to comprehend the superficial purpose of official social etiquette; which looks very hypocritical to me sometimes, even if I can see the value in being polite... insincere. I’d rather have nothing and find someone more alike who can connect with me instead.

You can't master both at the same time. It’s okay, the world is balanced like that. I'm in the middle, I have to move to reach the skill of an extreme, and when I do that, I loose the talent of the other. It used to rip myself apart... but that mental confusion and torture was worth gaining the skills that I have now. I understand why split personalities can be seen as a disorder, but really, you’re just trying to become whole in spite of mental barriers. Visualizations using metaphors is a great technique.

So I say that I'm an evil empath because I'm one of those who turned cynical. Yes I attract all kind, people know deep down that I can care for them and take all their pain away. But I take it within myself... They still have to deal with the cause and solve the problem. They often won't... just sucking my energy away, when being able to feel everyone's pain is already exhausting enough without being abused when you bother to give a damn. Not being able to stop caring makes you the perfect victim, so you'll attract a lot of abusive people. They want pain, to inflict it on you for their selfish desires, so give pain to them. Indirectly they're asking for it, so don't feel bad, even if your weapon is a double edge sword. Find a way to become a bit sado-mazo, at least enough to cope with having to hurt others. If you hurt them to stop their attacks, it will be the best way to minimize the pain spreading in the world. You matter too.

Someone got surprised when I told him not to come any closer coldly and he said "I didn't think you were like that..." and I replied "You thought I was like what!? Like a bottomless well where you can shit as much as you want and then the water still tastes delicious? Do you really think that someone like that exists!!!?"

At some point, my survival instinct had to take over and protect me from people's bad energy. I had to shield the best within me. I am able to make my kid side come forth, pure innocence, sheer joy and adoration for all wonders of the world. But it’s defenseless, very tenacious so it gets back up smiling no matter what, but I still have to protect it. I can't save anyone but myself, its also true for everybody else. They have to do it themselves.

Everyone can make and respect their own energy when they want to. I don't see why I should serve as a buffet. If being over emotional for being able to feel everything and not filter anything (Like River in Firefly the series and Serenity the movie), if it really makes me weaker, then all the more reasons why people should be the ones giving, at least equally since that wouldn't be fair for anyone, or to leave my life force alone!!!

I won't describe nor tell you if you have it or not. Do your own research... But I like this page: 7 Signs you may be an Empath.

Animals are drawn
to me, probably because I speak their frank body language. I don't consider myself human, not the way people think they're closest to gods, I'm just another animal. If he created us, he used the same amount of care and love in our complexity, why should I matter more than a bug? Worms are purely useful, to aerate and irrigate the earth, they help renew all life and never destroy it. Unlike us! This belief, this humble adoration for everything, free of ignorant bitterness, gives me a different attitude that is picked up at least unconsciously. It's much more attractive than painting my face; it gets to your very core. An unspoken promise of freedom in heaven, as all I see is beauty. People can get desperate to claw it from me, when all they need to do is open their heart and mind. It's actually the only way~

Like they say in the page: "Are You an Animal Empath?" I do talk to bugs and I even had a house spider who came to stare at me without any fear to be squished at all. I splashed water and she ran to drink a drop under my amazed stare. I don't like bugs so I keep spiders as pets to clean my home. Because I understand their purpose. They're not bugs but arachnids, they have their own category~

I saw a scientific picture of measuring the energy field of an object or something. If the earth can have a magnetic field, a living creature can spread energy too. It takes a whole lot of power to maintain a body, the idea that skin can seal everything in is far fetched. Even microwaves don't. Just like body head, which is energy, I think the electrical impulses can go beyond our skin too. Since thoughts are that as well, then the idea of adapting to that unique current and managing to find words for those feelings is a logical possibility.

So it's possible to pick it up, and to understand the differences of slight variations. I think that's how animals communicate. We use songs for entertainment, but they use music to communicate. There's no lies, no manipulations, no schemes... when someone wants to eat you, it's damn obvious. Of yeah I get angry when people refer to a life form as a "it". They're not objects to be owned... You won't respect or try to understand if you think that way. You can't connect to their feelings if you don't even acknowledge that they're sentient.

If you sincerely care about others, even by mere curiosity, then you'll notice how they feel. I never ask "Hi how are you?" It's polite and let people know you care, but people saying that don't want to know... It's all silly to me. I have eyes! I'm probably seen as antisocial and awkward... I guess I am. I don't care about the big show and what people will think, all I care about is what my feelings tell me. A lot of time, they belong to someone else. How can I not care... when people are an extension of myself. I am more than aware that I'm a part of the whole world. We are one.

There's a lot of mention of an unskilled empath, described as someone who get overwhelmed by this and end up sick. I think it's wrong. It'd mean that you can control and turn it off, you can't. So I see the most skilled empaths as those who can feel the most; those with the greatest intelligence to understand what's going on around them at such a deep level. People like that have to handle way more than the average person in one day. They will reach their tolerance threshold faster, for feeling and giving more when they do, so they'll have to retreat to rest more often and for longer. If you’re falling sick from anything, then you’re unskilled at self care and should work on that. The higher intensity and speed will make the margin smaller, so you'll have to be more careful. Because you're different you'll have to handle it differently, but it's still doable. The more you're able to give, the more you'll have to recharge with yourself.

Being different and wrong aren't synonyms, they don't even rhyme, they have nothing in common.

The fact that I turned evil (ready to hurt to protect and thinking that selfishness is just another thing necessary for survival, along with cooperation) has nothing to do with the degree of my skill as an empath, it's just how I chose to live with it. To die quick as a martyr or to choose who I suffer for to live better and longer... in the end, I can only help people help themselves if I'm alive.

Being emotionally wrecked and overwhelmed can happen to anyone who doesn't respect their over stimulation limit. It can be a sign of adrenal fatigue, which requires a lot of vitamin C... and of low magnesium too... Starvation and exhaustion can do that to anyone. Even the most "insensitive jerks".

When you judge you don't try to understand. People think that it makes them better than us "overly emotional weaklings" if they don't suffer the downside of our unique skill, oblivious to the power it can bring. But they might suffer and freak out much more if we looked down on their differences too, or if they were in our shoes for a few minutes.

They probably wouldn't last a second inside my head! Hahaha! When my primal side would give his input, they'd be scared to death. I sure was before I understood his good purpose. Like "*shriek* there's so many people in there!!! What are all those voices!!!?" Like someone wrote "Duh, they're just thoughts and ideas, I’m sure you’re not used to them, but don't worry." Priceless.

The reason why some people become exhausted faster can vary. The support and encouragements of loved ones can help, but nothing can replace proper self care.

Not every brain are the same.

On the old computer screens, the refresh rate was much more visible. By default it was something like 60 Hertz, but I could see the flashing effects of having one image after the other projected into my eyes. It really hurts... At 75 Hertz, I couldn't notice it anymore and it was like a sheet of paper. But people wouldn't notice it at all at 60, maybe a little in the corner of they eyes, but not much. It became more obvious later about how fast I could flip through a pile of paper...

My brain analyzes more images and information per second than average people. This allows me to understand faster, to handle more concepts at once and make more links maybe... but one thing for sure I stay human... the limit of what my brain can handle stays the same... so I get tired faster. This can be seen as a weakness, but in the big picture, I can end up processing much more than an average person in one day.

If we really need to have a break we can relax alone in a bath or in nature. We can turn the stimulis off, like loud music, even if we can't turn the 6th sense off.

But the people who look down on us won't be able to turn the skill on and understand what we can, even if they were to desperately want to, not even under the traumatizing pressure of being looked at as defective and mocked... They'd never gain the talent, because our brains are wired differently from birth to bring diversity and broaden the specialties available to the whole. For ourselves, and like any other skills, the whole community can benefit from it when we feel up to the task.

We serve different purposes; that's all.

An introvert empath can become an amazing doctor and find new cures. A practical extrovert might only think of money and productivity and people can end up suffering without them noticing or according it much priority, even if it's the official point of their career...

In the anime Chrono Crusade, the brother of the main character has the power to heal... but not himself. He's always so sick that he's disable and frail... But the way he heals is by offering his own life force to others... so he takes their exhaustion, wounds and illnesses inside... The reason why he can't heal only himself is because healing is what makes him sick in the first place! Many people came to him for trivial things, like scrapes, things that they could have so easily handled themselves. But they didn't want to bother so they gave it to him, they burdened him. Small things piled up until he got crushed and became extremely sick. At some point he snaps, steals the source of power of a demon and turns mad. Not knowing himself and his very generosity is to blame, so maybe turning to darkness could have helped him find balance, it did for me. But the people who took advantage of it are guilty as well. He should have said no, ignorance is no excuse, but we can learn from mistakes. Sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong one. You pay a price for what you give... so ask too sometimes.

People can’t bear to conceive those psychopaths are able of empathy. They think that they have less mirror brain cells, as a birth defect, oblivious to the purpose as they do for Empaths on the other extreme. The idea that psychopaths can understand your pain but choose to relish it is too horrible for them. But there’s more than one way to feel and understand. Only the emotional part of the brain is what we regard as the heart. The rational one can love but on a more practical and analyzed manner.

Ambidextrous people are rare. As much as we switch between the sides of our brains, we always favor one. People who rely on their primal brain first won’t have access to emotions nor reason this way, only sheer instinct. But as long as the other parts are there they can be accessed. Not every psychopath will hurt others; often it wouldn’t serve a survival purpose. But some can do it for entertainment, being under stimulated can be just as painful as over stimulation… It’s also to assert their domination, perhaps for safety, or make sure that the specie is propagated with the best specimens, hoping that it’s them if they win.

This can be very unfair if you play by the society’s rules, we all agreed not to beat each other up anymore. But make sure the game is fair and adapt yourself to the broken rules by dismissing them too. If you want to live that is…

Psychopath can actually be Empaths… because when you can read others, you can comfort their pains, but you can also know where to hit to hurt the most and exploit fears and weaknesses.

I’m not that evil. But I am able to. I usually manipulate with utter cuteness, making it really cheesy and obvious. It’s to make sure that people know and can choose freely anyway. I see that they have little intelligence compared to me, but I can’t stand having mine insulted so I won’t insult theirs. It’s actually admirable of them to survive while being so clueless and limited. They can even do more than I can in certain area, like the social... since dumb people can understand each other and connect.

I wouldn’t want to exploit people like puppets, that would just dig the distance even more between me and people, and I wouldn’t like what it’d make me… But I keep saying to survive, whatever it takes, so people will believe that it’s necessary… perhaps the weakest and most vulnerable they feel, the more they will feel the need to use powerful techniques to feel better. Life is complicated like that.

I hate bullshit, I don’t care if it benefits me, I just loathe it!

But everyone is different, even with combinations in complete contradiction. I'm like that, we all are.

Know that the world isn't your responsibility, no matter how much you feel for it and want to help. If you want to make it a better place, then make sure to protect yourself first. If we all took care of ourselves properly the best we can, the whole world would shift into something better. But it takes time and mistakes to figure it out... Even for someone as bright, clever and a faster thinker... like me. I had to learn from mistakes and pain, just like everyone.

So don't worry about it. Enjoy the special card that life dealth you.

Respect your skills, limits and choose wisely who you give your life force to.

It belongs to you.


Lisa Of Shades
27 February 2013

The original photo looked like a poster child for pedophilia, with his big lips, open mouth and naked chest... so I modified him. It's incredibly easy to give plastic surgery with photoshop! I added polar lights in the background from Northern lights tourism in Finland to make the impact bigger for my own topic. I have a hard time believing that the picture is real, and apparently this is the result of magnetic fields... So maybe the colors of auras isn't far fetched, even if I don't like pseudo sciences, or how fanatic people loose themselves, maybe there's truth in everything... and lies too. After all, we don't actually see but the light reflected at us, colors that aren't absorbed. So the true colors of everything might actually be the complete opposite...

The guy was from fiftytwochanges. You can read the story Walking blind through life. Susi Masarweh describes her experience with a blind person. How it opened her mind to the possibilities of others. (And how she forgot that she couldn't see and almost guided her into a wall! Don't entrust anyone to know and fill your needs better than you do.)

I think people who are extroverted without much empathy are blind. The irony is that they're more selfish than any introverts I met who were turned inside, constantly doing introspection about life, others and themselves... This can open a heart more than looking out for new desires to possess.

The blind develop their other senses and probably a 6th one too. There are more, like intuition.

Empath can't turn their skill off, but maybe because they don't want to. Would you want to become blind because something is ugly, even just for a moment...? Or deaf... Or loose your ability to smell... Sometimes I want to. But if I was truly given the choice I think I'd say no. I'd be too scared to loose something so precious, no matter how much it can hurt.

Living your life inside a castle, shield or behind a wall would spare you anything unpleasant. But it would also be like living your whole life in a coffin. Like the movie Food Matters says "Once you start asking questions... you can't stop." Once you see the world... you don't want to turn away, no matter how much you might like to.

Maybe anyone can become an Empath. You just have to open your mind. Maybe extroverts have a longer path to walk to get there... but it doesn't make them superior. Just like introverts and empaths aren't inferior for being clueless at all those social mind games that people play at each other... It simply makes us different. You'll be damn happy if a doctor cares about finding the cause of what makes you suffer instead to give you tranquilizers to make you stop annoying them. You'll also be damn happy if a war break to have someone insensitive be able to take a lot of it, as he moves in action to protect you. Everyone have a place and time to shine. Some people might hold keys to now unneeded skills that might save a life in the next generation. Like hand making bread if society collapses and machines end.

I'm an Empath even with bacteria and viruses. A scientist observed a red blood cell turn into one of those and then turned back into a oxygen carrier again. I believe that those invaders aren't small organisms that hunt others, like parasites, humans think like that but I don't think it's their purpose. I think it'd make more sense that they're the immune system of another creature, away from home. If your body gets sick from a few tourists then your country was really weak in the first place; and it's self care that was the problem. Taking anti-bio-tics... to nuke your ass and may the biggest survive... it can only weaken you even if you win. But giving your body weapons with nutrition can only make you win. I read that white blood cells are only useful if they're full of vitamin C, otherwise it's like a soldier without a weapon, not even hands... This completely reversed approach worked with me, saved my life, improved my health and I'm never ill from those little friends anymore. The stress of believing that you're powerless under a cruel attack can weaken you by itself, so don't. Empower your body with nutrients and rest so he'll have energy left for maintenance.

This is my Empathy. Used properly it can accomplish great things. Even violence can. Determination comes from a dark place, the revolt to improve what is, to overcome a trial... This is a violent passion, but it's a good thing. When you use your muscles you get countless cuts, that's how they get stronger.

Everything is more. There's always more to feel... more to...


Lisa Of Shades
27 February 2013

Words are used to communicate emotions.
But emotions are a language all by themselves.
An Empath understand emotions… because he's open to them.


Lisa Of Shades
27 February 2013
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!