Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!

Facts of Life ~ Sexual Education ~ Being ready

I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came inYou are the most precious element in your life, the greatest gift that you can offer is anything from you, and your virginity is the deepest gift. It can be the greatest sign of trust and appreciation, because it can create life itself and link you both forever. So make sure to choose wisely.

You are the absolute owner and god of your own body, YOU decide what to do with it, when, and with whom! You're the one who have the responsibility and will live with the consequences, so it's natural and logical that you're the one to choose!

To make it shorter, I'll use heterosexual examples and will take the woman side, since I am; but those issues and others can happen to everyone, with any orientation and any gender. Everyone can make a mistake, be an asshole or get mislead and abused. But no matter what, we're always free to choose how we live our own life, as long as it doesn't endanger others; even if arrogant people will disagree and try to make you believe otherwise, to get what they want their way. It's bullshit, yet a mere way to fill their needs and desires, just dismiss people who aren't willing to share and respect you; you'll find better people who suits you best sooner or later. Either way, it's better to be alone, available and free, than feel trapped by someone who make you wither with sadness and misery. I love myself and my independence~

Girls, if a boy pressure you to have sex saying "Com'on, it will be fun, you're not cool." Dismiss that immature jerk completely, he's not ready to take his responsibility towards you and your baby for sure, and no contraception are 100% safe and effective, not even if you combine more than one. Many diseases aren't curable, seriously lower the quality of life and even cause death. If he keep pressuring and mocking you, show him the gruesome medical pictures of genitals in my Health risks page.

If his idea to deserve your favors and show how pleasurable he can be, is to belittle you and hurt your self esteem, he's not doing a very good job is he. I wouldn't entrust him my whole being... he would lead you to disaster for sure. You can't be loved and appreciated b y someone who doesn't even know how or want to.

It's natural that boys will have more urges than girls; because their spermatozoid is renewed and ready all day long. But a girl ovule is only ready for procreation once a month. So please be understanding. Yet health factors can influence desire. If you are too malnourished to make your endocrine system function, the gonads (testicles or ovaries) will be put on stand by to preserve energy for the more vital parts. Read my Adrenal Fatigue section for more. Education, social influences, personalities, priorities, self confidence and past experiences also plays a role. Everything in life influences when we are ready and our sexual appetite.

Losing our virginity is much worst for women, because we have a ring of flesh, the hymen, which must be broken for the penis to be allowed in. If boys got their prepuce ripped in half forever the first time they did sex, they'd be scared like hell too; especially if an unwanted "parasite" would grow inside them, giving them nausea and pain, until they ripped their genitals, like a bowling ball coming out ripping everything apart of its way, for hours. Not so fun now, uh~

Boys, having sex with as many women as possible won't make you a better lover. But it will improve your chances to get a disease like herpes and aids. Every woman are different and for each of them you have to learn their preferences by being attentive to their needs, how they reach when you touch certain places, some will like it more romantic while others will like it rough. You could master the preferences of one but be a complete failure trying to impose the preference of a woman on another. Just focusing on quickly reaching the penetration then moving on, will make you as boring for one night as you think it would be to keep the same person. If you're tired to eat the same thing, then spice it up by varying the recipe, which will make you a much better cook.

Preliminaries and teasing raise the excitement and put the body in a much deeper receptivity that deepens the pleasure. Trust for someone we know, like and value as well.

Having sex drunk and then being unable to remember if you wore a condom or who actually got you pregnant... It's one method to go at it, but pointless if you don’t even remember the pleasure either… It sounds ridiculous but so many have sex this way, and then they mock you for not being cool if you don’t want to have sex… Riiiight~ Don’t let them make you feel bad, there’s always a down side and, in this case, it’s nothing to be proud of or brag about. Abstinence from drunk stupidities is wisdom.

Fear isn't weakness; it' a protection mechanism, a message from the body that trouble and pain might come as a result, a request to spare yourself the energy that it would take to handle the event, because you might not have all the resources to do it safely yet. Going at it blindly anyway isn't courage. Drugs aren’t the solution, listening to your body’s needs is. It’s true for everything.

Don't even let someone you love disrespect you with pressure. It's especially hard for women, boys won't be the ones to get a grinder up their special parts to grind their insides out, by complete strangers, while being judged and stared at, screamed at by their parents, to get an abortion, then feel bad for killing a possible baby and wonder how he or she would have been, for the rest of their lives... if sex goes as nature intended it to be. Boys might not be able to understand, because we can only know from what we live... so trust your own body. If someone truly loves you, he'll suck up his frustration, respect your decision... Boys the best thing to do is to cuddle gently, kiss her neck and chew her ear hoping to inspire her with the proper mood, and let her take the lead so she'll feel safer. But don't expect it to lead to penetration every time, or you won't appreciate the simple pleasures and really miss out on them, and feeling that her genitals is all you care about will rightfully hurt her feelings. Be trustworthy and patient, don't claim but offer, and put her in the mood by warming her heart and body, and sooner or later she’ll open like a flower. But saying "I want sex, open your legs"... can make you a worthless unlovable partner.

If you aren't ready and prepared for its natural consequences, like a baby or possible diseases, don't have sex!!! There's plenty of cool and fun stuff to do, like videogames. It won't kill you even if you're game over on cheat on it with another game. While lying can help you get what you want, people don't take having their trust walked all over too well and some can return the pain with interests, while others will also want an open relationship. But trying to please at the peril of your own needs and dignity is just as dangerous. Fair balance and communication is best~

Taking risks that you're not ready for, in a period of your time that you don't have the resources to handle the consequences, won't make you more mature! There's a huge difference, when you get a child, between an adult who studied a career, found employment and made savings and a teen who's not even old enough to work legally. If cleaning your own room and dishes is the worst for you, how do you think you’ll handle cleaning poop, saliva and throw ups several times a day!?

The adult will be able to make the decision about keeping the baby or not and can do all the steps herself. But the child will have to tell her parents, face criticism, might be pressured into keeping the baby, some are plain abandoned and kicked out, some teen even committed suicide for being abandoned by their irresponsible boyfriend who only wanted to play with them. They were too immature to face something so harsh, lacking self confidence, coping skills and independence so some impulsively kill themselves when there are simple solutions.

Sex won't make people love you more, saying yes to pressure without any regards for your own desires and self respect only makes you easier to abuse and trash away. True love is being respected when we say no, so don't be scared to say it. You'll see if the person really loves you or only wants to use you as a sperm toilet. Compromises make the best relationships; make sure you get what you want too by demanding it! You weren't born to serve or be a tool, no matter what the magazines and ads tell you, you were born to live! So take your life and choose how you live it.

Women claim for the right to choose whether or not they want to have a child or not, in the endless argue about abortion rights. But the decision must be done BEFORE you conceive!!! But if you aren't ready or willing to take care of the child, instead to give him a lifetime of misery, 18 under your care and the rest for failing to help him build the self confidence and skills needed to thrive... spare pain and just abort him, if that's the best proof of love that you have to offer. There's always adoption, but many end up in the system all their youth, used as cash cow for subventioned families who couldn't care less about them.

Boys, it's still scary for you too. Sperm stays inside the vagina for days, there's a type that kills new sperm from another male to make sure the ovule is theirs. You don't know what's been in there. How many and the diseases lurking. It’s so terrifying that there's even a legend about a goddess who had teeth there. (Girls find the movie Teeth and show it to your lover, hehehe~)

Also, with DNA testing, you can't pretend that you're not responsible for the baby. You can even end up with a court order to pay a substantial sum of money to help raise the child.

So if you want fun, play videogames. It won't kill you even if you're game over or lick the joystick.

There's much more fun to do, even with sex. For more read the page Safe sex.

Being responsible is what makes someone more mature, in every aspect of life. Not doing things considered adult blindly. Such as smoking, it's illegal for underage kids, not because they're not good enough for it, it's illegal for the COMPANIES to prey on children, who don't know enough to make an inform decision yet, because it's the responsibility of the whole community to protect the next generation. Spitting on it and doing stupid stuff that even adults shouldn't do will only display and reinforce stupidity.

Funny virginity picture from blogspot. "Virginity, who says you can only loose it once" with a picture of jail... Keeping your virginity can be the best.

Your body is precious; you can't put a price on it, and keeping your virginity doesn't mean that you're giving up on pleasure or even sex. There are vibrators!!! So if a guy only has pleasure to offer, no respect, no affection, and he probably only will care about his own and leave you dissatisfied... you'd be better of with the more performing machines. They're always ready and never fail you, even if the batteries die. So make sure you get extra perks than just a mean inconsiderate dick. Guys, fleshlights have no teeth, can't nag you for attention if you buy yourself a new game, ruin your reputation, or castrate you for cheating… Hehehe~

Sex can be wonderful, but if that's all you care about, you're really missing out on building something great, people and the other many pleasures of life. It's less scary to hit and run without getting attached, without risking getting hurt or loosing someone precious if you never care or even get to know the person. But you can still get hurt with diseases, emptiness, loneliness... and the fact that you just have plain nothing to cherish either, share it with, and care back for you.

But everything is okay as long as both give their informed consent and are ready to take responsibility for the consequences... which a young child cannot do when pressured by the authority of an adult, because his survival depends on pleasing them, so it's like threatening their life and safety for abuse, a cruel choice.

What's so wrong about rape isn't the sex, but no amount of pleasure can compensate for crushing someone's right to free will, and harming someone's integrity and right to have their own identity is what makes it so horrifying.

The church contradicts itself by declaring sex a dirty sin and the result too precious to abort. Every child deserves to be wanted and loved, but if there's not enough good will in the world, life will manage to find a way so the specie can go on.


Having sex, especially drunk in the toilets of a bar, might not be the most enjoyable memory; especially not your first time which we tend to remember. You might want to have something more reassuring and enjoyable story to tell to your children later, so offer one to yourself.

If you need to knock out your rational and emotional brains with alcohol, which a poison, to be able to indulge in your primal desires; it’s not a problem of lacking courage, but a wise decision when emotional affection and rational trust isn't there for a complete stranger. Take your time to discover, the trill will last longer. Courtship and preliminaries improve receptivity and excitement.

I’ve seen two drunken people trying to kiss and fondle each other with their limited awareness and motor control; it didn’t look romantic or dignified. I heard a lot of regret. You can get hurt by trying to play the easy path; especially if you try to numb your own protective judgment: people that you want nothing to do with can take advantage of you in a weakened state, or you might go for them yourself and wake up with an unpleasant surprise.

Make sure that your mind is clear when you make your decision, any of them, to be certain that the pleasure is yours, because the responsibility for the consequences will be.

Abusive people will try to make you believe that you have to or that it's a flaw not to, it's bullshit and pay no mind, free will is always yours to wield!!!


The reason why sex is so omnipresent everywhere isn't because it should be in your life too; but because sex sells. If publicity put a half-naked sexy lady on a car or holding a product, men (who once held all the money working while women stayed at home) are targeted; they feel desire for the woman and misunderstand it as wanting the product by association. Companies use this low manipulation all the time because the reproduction drive for life is powerful, so they use it against them to exploit them, and indulge their weakness, since they already have a hard enough time not thinking about sex, without half naked ladies all over the place, the money hungry companies hope to see them fall for it sooner or later. Many do.

Porn is completely fake. It can take days to film a few hours so the performance is completely unrealistic, women are butchered to be enhanced with implants so expectations can't be satisfied without those films so people can end up dependent and their mind so loaded with these images that they become obsessed; to the great pleasure of companies wanting to exploit them for it and keep them as customers. Bust worst, they encourage abusing women and seeing them as soulless objects to abuse and exploit: they fake pleasure while in pain; even crying and throwing up between takes... even whores deserve so much better.

Magazines also tell women that they're too ugly without make up and prey on their insecurities until they become customers for life, even pressuring them into very expensive, painful and life threatening surgeries that often disfigure them into something that doesn't even look balanced or human. And they brainwash women since they're little girls into the horrors of Anorexia and bulimia.

Don't let any companies dictate your life, especially not porn, learn about sex with the trilling excitement of trying and discovering for yourself; practice using your own boundless imagination, you'll renew the fun and share elements of life more precious than a camera can ever hope to capture and display. Like complicity, tenderness, affection, understanding, cares, how loyalty and exclusivity can make you feel cherished above all else and reduce the health risks to a minimum... and the very feelings of touch.

The logo of porn, the rabbit, might have sex constantly and maybe with any partners, but superior animals in the food chain, like wolves, mate for life with only one partner. If underlings tried to steal the female of the alpha leader, they would probably get their balls bitter and is probably why their tails are down submissively. If it's not the mating season, even the alpha pair they don't mate.

I don't know for you, but I'd much rather be a wolf than food for predators, like corporations are. But the material realm of publicities is fake, loaded with lies and a pebble of crap compared to the whole colorful reality of life itself. Discover it; don't mindlessly let ads or magazines define who you should be. They want slaves, mindless beasts: the golden goose. Anyone deserve better.

Free will, liberate yourself

No matter the feelings that brought forth your birth, and the expectations placed on you even before your very existence, your own life is absolutely yours, and you own your body absolutely.

Balance is the key~

If you take your time by finding satisfaction with yourself, you'll be a better lover. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel pleasure or not, discover what you like and your own limit for yourself. Normal is just the math calculation for average; don't let anything dictate who you are. Once you'll know what you enjoy, you'll be more able to voice your desires and give pleasure to others.

Never give yourself away, own yourself and share.

If you respect yourself and communicate your desires with conviction, it will improve your chances to build a relationship, or at least a moment, that will be fair and equal.

If you don't feel ready to assume the responsibilities, risks and/or didn't even find a suitable partner for you; choosing to put sex aside temporarily, for as long as you need, is a wise and mature decision. There are other ways to interact with people, who are good for countless activities, and other tools to satisfy urges~

If you want to have sex, are prepared, well informed, and want the person; then it's okay to do it. If things go wrong, at least you'll be ready to figure out how to make them better again; hopefully the moments will make the natural end worth living, otherwise it will be a great opportunity to learn about yourself and what you desire for your future present. Don't worry, time passes, good times will come soon enough~

Know better.

Enjoy better.



Next: Vanilla or darker sex

Lisa Of Shades
27 October 2013
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!